Grateful for Life itself!

Last night as I was saying my prayers, I started thanking the Lord for my good health and as I did the flood gates opened and I started full blown crying.  It's been a while since I've cried and so it felt really good, but it also made me stop and take inventory once again of my many blessings.

I had Avastin again yesterday and my CA-125 was at 20.  So we are at a good holding pattern considering it was 21 three weeks ago and 17 three weeks before that.  (0-35 is normal).  I feel so blessed to have been chosen for this clinical trial and that things have gone as well as they have.  I am trying to count my blessings every day for my good health, because I don't know how long I will have it.  And yes I want to be optimistic and pray for a miraculous healing,, but when people ask me if I am cured of cancer, I am also realistic with them.

I have been going through some of my old journals and reading different entries.  I was so interested to read an entry from over two years ago.  We were without a paying job while living in Prescott, Arizona.  I had cited all of the job hunting frustrations we were going through, then my eyes read the next words, "at least we can be grateful that bad health is not one of our trials now!”   Oh my goodness..... when I read those words I realized that we never know what trial is just around the corner and we have to pray that we will be able to handle things as they come.  Little did we know that in less than a year and a half we would both have cancer! Last week when Craig and I were in the temple, we stood in the prayer circle and I was reminded once again of our blessings as the officiator said, "We are grateful for life itself!"  What a profound statement.

It's been amazing living in Utah and having the finest doctors and knowing that most of them are LDS and have the same belief in God that we do.  My primary care doctor, Amy Hawks was the one who ordered my initial CT scan that found my cancer.  She turned me over to my oncologist, Dr. Wallentine and my surgeon Dr. Soisson.  I hadn't seen or talked to her in over four months when one day I got a card from her that said,

"Michele, I'm afraid this note is long over due, but I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you and hoping that your treatment and recovery go as smoothly as possible.  I keep thinking about your response when I told you that the CT Scan indicated ovarian cancer.  You reminded me that your husband had recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer and then you said, "The Lord must really love us!"  I admire your strength and faith and hope you feel sustained during this time.  I know the Lord does love you."  Dr. Amy Hawks

It's been almost 8 months since my surgery and 7 since Craigs and we definitely know that the Lord really does love us.  We are grateful for that knowledge that has and will sustain us through the good and bad times in our lives.