"Stories on the Sabbath"

                                    To Serve Him is to Love Him

I was paralyzed with fear when I received that dreaded phone call on January 7, 1991.  As I drove to the hospital I silently prayed, "Please God, don't let it end this way."  My husband, Don, and I had been married fourteen years.  We had been struggling financially and were experiencing great stress, and we had drifted apart.  We both were just tired of our life together, and our marriage seemed much more work than it was worth.  To compound matters, we also had to deal with our teenagers.

Several months earlier, Don had been in an auto accident.  I was very upset but relieved, when I reached him, to find out he was fine.  This time, however, I felt that things were different.  I wondered, "Is the Lord going to take him because of the bad feelings I've had?"  I didn't understand why, but as I drove to the hospital I felt that this accident had a purpose.  I wasn't sure what it was, but felt certain that the Lord would use this experience to teach me something.
I wondered if I was so hard-headed that this was the only way the Lord could get my attention.  In the past we had a good marriage, but in recent months we had steadily moved in different directions. When hard times began, instead of building each other up, we constantly found fault.  I was once told, "You should be the guardian of your spouse's self-esteem."  We had certainly fallen far short of this sound advice. With news of his first accident, a part of me started to soften, but with the realization that Don was in no imminent danger, my protective walls went right back up.

At the hospital, I found Don unconscious!  He had been up on a ladder and had fallen two stories.  I had no idea as to the extent of his injuries, and fear gripped my heart.  I knew that people had been paralyzed or even died from falling just one story.  I silently prayed for help.  Why was this happening to us now, when we were having so many other problems?  Though deeply frustrated, I felt something for Don I hadn't experienced in a long time. The thought of actually losing him cut deeply into my heart.

The next five and a half hours seemed like an eternity.  Don was taken to the operating room for reconstructive surgery.  He had landed on his ankle, crushing it, and his entire leg had crumpled under the weight.  The bone was broken so severely that it protruded through his skin.  During the next few months, Don experienced excruciating pain.  He was not allowed to put even the slightest bit of pressure on his leg.  He was forced to lie completely still while the healing process began.

We were really struggling with this ordeal.  Our lives were totally uprooted by it, and many changes were forced upon us.  Don had to rely on me to help him with everything. Then, as I began serving him, our feelings started to change.  It was impossible for him to sleep in our waterbed and still remain motionless, so I made a bed for him in the den.  In this room it was very cold at night and in the early morning.  A fire in the fireplace made it bearable, so I continually stoked the fire all through the nights in order to keep him warm.

Don couldn't tend to any of his personal needs without me, which forced us to be closer to each other than we had been in a long time.  At first he was not pleasant with the forced intimacy. I'm sure the pain he was enduring was more than I will ever comprehend.  However, the miracle that took place between the two of us was worth any pain that either of us would ever experience.

The more I served Don, the more I loved him.  Feelings long ago buried were born again.  And because of the many hours of love and service I gave, he also experienced a great change of heart.  We didn't fall in love--we grew in love.  In retrospect, I am frightened by the direction our lives were taking!  I know the Lord didn't cause this accident, yet I am thankful he allowed us this opportunity to change.  I have truly witnessed a miraculous change of heart in both of us.  We now have a bond of love and friendship such as we never had before.  I testify that the best way to learn to love your spouse is to serve him or her unselfishly.  We have now been married more than twenty years, and look forward to the rest of time and eternity together.

                                                                         --Name withheld
                                                        (By Small & Simple Things by Michele Romney Garvin)