Well, last night I had a pity party. I know that it doesn't help to feel sorry for myself, but sometimes it feels like it is just too much to handle. As I am going through this pain, I can't help but compare myself to so many people who have seemed to sail through chemotherapy. At times like these, I feel so weak. My daughter reminded me that I am comparing my private self to other people's public self. I don't want to be a hypocrite and have everyone think I am so upbeat and positive all the time. Reality is that this has been the hardest thing I have ever been through! This last week I've had bowel problems again and combining it with the other side effects was enough to put me over the edge. Last night I cried myself to sleep. Thank goodness for the power of prayer! Thanks to the Lord, he always is there to hear a weak daughter's prayer and he comforts, strengthens and gives her courage to face another day!
My husband is so amazing! I feel sorry for him because he sees me at my worst and he still loves me. I told him how much I appreciated him putting up with me and he lovingly said, "I'm not going anywhere!" I'm so grateful for my temple marriage and the covenants I've made with him and the Lord.
I am thinking of you tonight...it is so late. I love your blog. I am inspired by you. You two are so made for each other and you are a winner, even in the middle of all this...even when you don't feel as one, you truly are.
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