21 November, 2013 – Thursday
Craig and I just got back from seeing Dr. Wallentine. I feel so blessed that I have not been
nervous until this morning to see him.
On Tuesday morning I called the clinic and told them that I wanted to
get another CA-125 before I had my consultation with the doctor as to what the
next step in my treatments would be. So
I went in and had my blood drawn.
Today when we met with the doctor he told me that my CA-125
had gone up to 148.2. Just three weeks
ago it had jumped from 82 to 112 and now this.
It is definitely showing a consistent pattern. I had a very strong feeling that it had gone
up again, but I continued hanging onto the hope that it wouldn't. I've been trying to prepare myself to have to
start chemo again. However it’s hard to
want to when I still have so much energy and I keep getting new inspiration of
things that I want to do and accomplish.
I have prayed that if there was some way I wouldn't have to do chemo
this soon, to let it be possible if it was the Lord’s will.
Dr. Wallentine said that the CT scan showed no evidence of disease
(NED), which meant that there is no tumor that we can watch and try to
attack. He feels that starting chemo
right now would be just a shot in the dark, not knowing exactly just where the
cancer to kill is. However, he said because of the consistent rise in the
CA-125 it indicates that the cancer has returned and is back somewhere. He feels that starting chemo right now would
not be the best step to take at this point.
He quoted a study that has been done on those whose cancer
has come back. The study showed that
those who started chemo immediately at the rise of the CA-125, compared to
those who waited until there was evidence of disease, showed no difference in
the effectiveness of the treatment in the long run.
He said that there were 3 things we could consider doing.
Even though I am off the trial now, he could administer the Avastin to me and
see if the insurance company would pay for it.
I jumped in when he suggested this and said, “Well, it looks like to me
that the Avastin is no longer working.”
He said, “Exactly my point.”
The second thing he suggested was that we just watch and
wait for symptoms to show up or evidence of disease to appear on the CT
scan. Craig didn't like that suggestion at
all. Craig told the doctor, “The problem
I have with that is that Michele has such a high tolerance of pain, that I’m
afraid things would start happening to her, but that she would just dismiss
them and it would be too late when we finally took her in. Look at what happened when she was first
diagnosed with cancer.”
The third thing he suggested was for me to take a pill every
day called “Tamoxifen”. It is a hormone
therapy and is classified as an “anti-estrogen drug”. This drug has been mostly used for treatment
with breast cancer, but has also been used like I used Avastin, to try and hold
off the disease from returning so soon. He
said that by using this drug, we might possibly be able to experience two positive
effects; one to slow down the growth of the ovarian cancer and 2) to slow down
the possibility of getting breast cancer so soon. The other upside to using Tamoxifen is that I
won’t lose my hair right now! Yeah! There are other side affects with this drug
but nothing I can’t handle. Several of
my friends who have had breast cancer have used this drug and have not liked
it. I’m hoping it was because they were
young and not in menopause yet that the side effects may have been harder on
them. What people complain about mostly is
menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes and mood swings, which I have already
been thrown into. (Poor Craig!)
We also discussed with the doctor my high risk of getting
breast cancer. For those of you who may
not know, I tested positive for the BRCA 1 GENE. It is the same gene that Angelina Jolie
had. Click here to read her story.
I have a 43% chance of getting Ovarian Cancer and an 87%
chance of getting Breast Cancer before the age of 70. I will be 56 in January. Today we talked about the option of having a
double mastectomy. Dr. Wallentine said
that because I am at high risk, he would love to see me get rid of my breasts. But he also knows that the ovarian cancer I
am battling is far more dangerous at this point.
It was interesting that I felt no emotion during this whole
appointment until he said, “You have fought a valiant battle with ovarian
cancer and won. But now it has come back
and you are called to arms once again. I
don’t know if you are up to fighting this new battle as well as healing
physically and emotionally from a double mastectomy.” When the doctor said I had fought a valiant
battle….I could feel my emotions begin to swell. I tried very hard to not let them surface into
tears. I took his words of me fighting a
valiant battle as a great compliment.
But I knew that I hadn't fought it alone! The Lord has been by my side and has heard
the prayers of my sweet family and dear friends. I know whatever is in the future for me he
will continue to help me fight those battles too.
I will start taking this Tamoxifen at the beginning of December and then I will see see the doctor in January. We will take another CA-125 test then and see if things are holding at a good pattern. If so, I will keep taking these pills every day and see the doctor every 2-3 months. Somewhere in there we will schedule a CT scan to monitor if there is any new evidence of disease. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a miracle and that this would work? That is what our prayers will be. But if not, we will still trust in the Lord and know that everything is up to him anyway. What an amazing adventure this thing we call earth life!!! Who would have known all that was in store for each of us!
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