This picture goes from oldest to youngest (left to right). Marsha & Cliff Stratton Family (Blue), Jerry & Pat Romney Family (Green), Shawna & Norm Jackson Family (White), Tami Farnsworth & Doug Parry Family (Red) and Michele & Craig Garvin Family (Black).
While we were at our reunion we were rained on every day. We had many tender m
ercies along the way, and we never had our planned activity rained out. One of the nights a big wind and rain storm came up and started blowing over all the cups and plates on the tables. We all ran around trying to secure things and bring the food in from out of the rain. The last day we had a hail storm and several of my grandchildren were not happy with the situation and started to cry. It wasn’t long before everything settled down and we waited out the storm under the nice and comfy pavilion. The last morning we have a traditional testimony meeting where many of us share our feelings about the family and the gospel and some of our joys and sorrows. Many of us have had health issues, as well as other life altering challenges and it was so fulfilling to be able to listen to each other share how their faith has carried them through their trials.
During my testimony I mentioned about the rain storms that had come off and on throughout the reunion. I told them that I felt that they were a blessing to us because they had brought us closer together. I went on to explain that I had listened to a tape by Gary Smalley where he asked different families the following question: “If you could pick one activity that brought you closest together as a family, what would it be?” The #1 answer that he consistently got was CAMPING!
Why? Not because camping is so great, but it’s what happens WHILE you are camping. Many times while you are camping, there is a crisis or two that happen along the way, and that is what brings you close, and you don’t even realize it until after it’s over.
One year our family went camping and during the process, we got a flat tire on our van. It was getting dark and we needed light, so we fired up the lantern so we could see to change the tire. We ne
eded it to be up higher to see better and as we looked around, we saw a nearby tree with a broken branch. What a great idea! We hung the lantern on the branch and started to change the tire. Just as we were finishing, we looked up and saw that the tree had caught on fire. There had been sap seeping out of the tree, and the heat from the lantern had caught it on fire. Luckily there was a nearby stream and so we grabbed several pots and ran down to the stream and came running back and threw water on the tree to put the fire out. All I can remember thinking at the time was that this was a total nightmare & I never wanted to go camping again! Well, it wasn't until years later that I heard this talk from Gary Smalley and I then realized what he was talking about. What we had experienced was a traumatic experience - A CRISIS! So the secret to bringing any family closer together is a SHARED CRISIS and it doesn't always have to be camping! When the crisis is a conflict from an OUTSIDE force, we all struggle together against a common enemy, kind of like you and me against the world. The worst thing is when there is conflict from WITHIN - then you have the complete opposite effect. It DESTROYS your unity instead of building it.
A perfect example of this is in the Book of Mormon when the church members began to persecute one another (conflict from within), it ultimately destroyed their lives. When they were fighting for a common goal against their enemies (conflict from without) they were victorious! What a great example for each of us and our families to follow.
A very important point to remember is that the bonding does not take place in the middle of the crisis. Outside conflict is the glue that provides the bonding; however it is “slow-drying g
lue.” It usually takes about 3 weeks for the glue to dry. Then you look back at the experience and laugh and slap each other on the back and say, “Remember when… wasn't that awesome when…?” But during the crisis, no one was laughing! It’s later on that the glue slowly begins to dry and the bond between those involved becomes stronger and stronger.Could that be why they have girls camp out in the dirty, dusty, bug infested wild? I was talking to one
of my nieces and she mentioned that their ward decided that they didn't want to go girl’s camp at the regular dirty spot that everyone went to. So their ward withdrew from the stake camp and went and had their own camp at a really nice place that had showers and all the nice amenities. She said that when the week was over, many of the girls and leaders said that they felt a void and didn't experience the same thing that had during the past years at the old camp. Why? Was it because there were not a shared crises and none of the girls had to let their guard down, because they could still wear makeup and look cute? It really makes you stop and think.I wonder if that’s why our Tenney Reunions when I was a little girl all started out being where we all camped together for 3 days. We got away from the cares of our normal lives and could bond out in nature and pull together when the storms came in upon us. If
we needed to get away from worldly distractions back then, can you imagine how much more we need to now? This is so symbolic to me. That’s why we have reunions, so that we can pull together and share how we have weathered the latest storms in each of our lives. So really camping is not the secret to a close knit family, but what takes place WHILE you are camping can be. Let’s take a look at two other examples that had a crisis that provided slow drying glue later on.
The story is told of a father and son who went skiing. Half way down the slopes, while in full ski gear, the father gets diarrhea. He pulls off into the forest and begins to undress, just in time to fall and slide down the mountain in the snow. The son following behind him begins laughing hysterically and says, "I can hardly wait until I get back to tell everyone what happened!"
There was a trip where six teenagers were traveling in a van with a couple of leaders. They had been on a trip in beautiful Canada and one boy cut his foot really deep and they had to cut the trip short. On their wa
y home in the car the driver started to fall asleep while driving. The boy that cut his foot reached up and slapped the driver on the head and said, "Hey watch out, you were drifting off!" The driver told him to knock it off and not to ever slap anyone like that. Later on they stopped at a restaurant and the driver noticed that this boy had put a few packets of jam in his shirt pocket. Later on that evening the driver noticed that the boy had fallen asleep in the car, so he slammed on the breaks. The boy flies to the ground, chest first - jelly all over the place! Do you think he was a happy camper? NO! Do you think he liked the driver at that point? No! However, 3 weeks later they were TIGHT as could be! It’s been years since that happened and they still talk about it with fond memories. Rafting or canoeing is another guaranteed bonding experience because something alway
s goes wrong! The food tips upside down or you have to sleep in a wet sleeping bag all night. Oh, when that happens, its awesome stuff! You forget the main dish on the picnic, the bigger the mosquitoes, the better! While it's happening it HORRIBLE, but 3 weeks later - its GREAT! In fact, the next time you take a trip, if NOTHING goes wrong, DARN! Oh well, maybe NEXT Time! The more things that go wrong, the better the bonding later on! So remember this new found knowledge as you go about your day to day life, when you feel like life is falling down all around you. Open your eyes and see the beauty in your life. Start looking for all the AWESOME bonding experiences you will have to share 3 weeks from now!
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