"Stories On the Sabbath"

My Brownies Made A Difference

I was exhausted!  Being a single parent and providing our only income required that I work afternoons and evenings to try to make ends meet.  My three children and I had been living in a tiny apartment, and I had finally found a larger one that I could afford.  Because of my work schedule, I had limited time to make this move.  At first I felt very overwhelmed trying to do all this by myself.  One morning I was pleasantly surprised when four volunteers--sisters from my ward Relief Society--came to my door.  One was my visiting teacher and another was the Relief Society president.  As we worked together, I felt a surge of hope and great strength.  They were so helpful, and I deeply appreciated their timely efforts.  That very day, I vowed that I would do something for each of these women to show my gratitude, even if it was just a little note or a plate of cookies.

Soon we were in our new home, and I was running again at full speed.  I often thought back to that reassuring feeling of strength I had felt when those sisters were helping me, and I was continually reminded of the vow I had made that day.  However, the more I tried to find the time to make these sisters something, the harder it became.  The adversary had almost convinced me that as a single parent, I just couldn't take time out of my extremely busy schedule.  It was so difficult to fit anything extra into my life.  So I kept procrastinating.

One Saturday morning, I awoke with a full list of things to accomplish; then an overwhelming feeling came over me.  As I started down my list of things to do, I couldn't continue.  I felt a distinct impression that I should take that day to do something to thank those dear sisters who had helped me move.  Part of me kept thinking, "But I need to do these other things . . . why today?  I've waited this long; what's another day or two going to matter?"  But the feeling lingered.  "Don't put it off anymore!  Get it done today." 

I knew that I was not going to feel good until I got this done, so I quickly set to work.  I decided to mix up a relatively easy recipe of chocolate brownies, but it was trouble from the beginning.  One batch was over-done because my oven cooked hotter than normal, and the recipe did not produce as many brownies as it said it would.  Money was very tight and I could not afford to get more groceries until next payday.  So when I ran out of eggs that quickly ended the making of any more brownies. 

Then I turned to see my daughters eating the only few decent brownies I did have.  I was so frustrated that I felt like throwing them all in the trash and counting this as one of my stupid ideas. The adversary had a heyday with me, and I allowed him to discourage me for a while.  I felt worthless and inadequate.  What made me think these ladies would want such horrible looking brownies?  "No, I'm not going to take these to them," I thought.  "It won't make a difference anyway."  The adversary had almost won.  Then that same little feeling nudged its way ever so slightly into my heart once again:  "Go ahead and do it, even if there are only six brownies on each plate.  It's the thought that counts!"

With faith like that of a child, I obeyed.  I placed six over-done brownies on each plate, covered them with saran wrap, and tied a ribbon around each package, trying to make my burnt offering look as presentable as possible.  Hesitantly I took these plates to each of the four ladies.  As I handed them my meager gift, I was appropriately thanked.  However, Peggy, our Relief Society president, gave me a somewhat puzzled look, as if her thoughts were somewhere else.  I felt as if I had interrupted her, and she was having trouble changing her train of thought, so I quickly exchanged pleasantries with her and left.

On the way home, even though I was puzzled by Peggy's response, I felt a sense of satisfaction.  Grateful that I had been able in some way to say "thank you," I was able to walk a little taller that day.  I knew those brownies wouldn't matter much to those sisters, although they had to me.  But I was very wrong.  It wasn't until two years later, when Peggy was giving a talk that I learned what a difference those brownies had made.

Peggy spoke about going through a terrible depression at that time.  "I didn't feel that I was talented, or worthy, or even capable enough to have received this job as Relief Society president," she said.  "I felt that the bishop had made a terrible mistake in calling me and that I was more or less an imposter.  I was just waiting for others to catch on to my inefficiency."  She had poured out her soul in prayer, asking for some reassurance--and that was the day I came by with my brownies. 

Coming to Peggy's door with my meager offering was an answer to her prayers.  Peggy began to realize that maybe she had made a difference, and that God was aware of her.  A sweet peace came over her and calmed all of her fears.  When I look back on this experience, I realize how both of us felt that we had not made a difference, when in reality we had done exactly that.

I've come to realize that when we are tempted to NOT do something, it is usually because it will make a difference for good in someone's life.  I am so thankful that I listened to the Spirit that day and returned service to Peggy when she needed it most.  The next time we feel the adversary's influence, we should get excited and know that something great is about to happen, because the adversary doesn't waste his time on anything unprofitable. We need to replace our fear with faith, and go forth and make a difference.

                                                -- Katherine Harrison Ogden (By Small and Simple Things)