Turning the Hearts of the children…..

“And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:6

I've often pondered the meaning of this scripture and wondered just exactly what will turn their hearts? Today after reading a letter from my niece, I think I have finally begun to understand.

Dear Family,

Since the death of my husband, I hadn't realized how important extended family would become to my children, until after the experience they had at our last reunion. Thank you for the forever memories we created with you. A special thank you goes out to Aunt Michele and Aunt Marsha who so faithfully revised and republished Grandma's life history. I must say although I received a copy of it 15 years ago when I was a young and stupid teenager, I felt little compulsion to read it. I admit I did browse through it and read the passages about my Dad but that was about it. So imagine my surprise when I brought home my new copy of Grandma's life history and actually had a desire to read it.

It was late one evening and I was sitting in bed restless and unable to sleep. I looked over and sitting on my bed was Grandma's book which my children had neglected to 'put a way on the shelf' where I had always kept it in the past. As I looked at it, I was prompted to pick it up, so I did. I began reading. It was not what I had imagined. Rather than a long list of relatives names, births and death dates it contained hilarious stories, tales  of places I had been to in Prescott and hard won wisdom from a somewhat naughty little girl. .
I fell asleep reading it and woke up wanting more. So... I decided to be lazy and sat in bed and read. After a while Morgan, my 9 year old daughter wandered in and wanted to know what I was reading. My first inclination was to immediately tell her about the wonderful life history I had discovered and list all the reasons why I wanted her to read it and how wonderful it would be to know more about Grandma Romney's life.
Just as the words were on the tips of my tongue ready to slip out I clamped my jaw shut. I knew if I even so much as uttered one word of my 'genealogical mind lecture', her eyes would glaze over, she would tune out, begin picturing what she wanted for Christmas, and would slink further and further toward the door. So I didn't. I didn't say anything. I ignored her.

After another moment she asked again. I pretended to dismiss her, "Oh nothing, just leave me alone. I'm reading," I grumbled. This of course only intrigued her more. I let out a short burst of laughter. Then sucked it back in.
"What?" She cried "What is it?"
"Nothing, nothing. You wouldn't like it. Go do something." I continued.
"Please tell me what you are reading," she whined as she began to crawl onto my bed and crane her neck around to attempt to read a title of some sort. "Is it bad?"
"No," I snorted, insulted at the idea, "it's just your grandmother's life history. You wouldn't be interested. Go away."
"Which grandma?" she asked, her interest extremely piqued. I sighed an pretended,exaggerated breath of exasperation, "Your Grandma Romney."
"You mean the one from the reunion that we just got to hang out with?"
"Yes, now go."
"What exactly is a life history anyway?"



At this point I was attempting very hard not to do a little happy dance as I could feel victory on the horizon. I put down the book and opened it to the cover, to show her the picture. 
I sighed again heavily, "It's just a book with a bunch of stories about her life and what it was like to grow up on a ranch with 10 brothers and sisters, and what life was like riding horses and going to rodeos and dating boys, and stories about naughty things she used to do as a little girl....oh and there's stuff in here about Papa Jerry too..."







Wait for it, wait for it... eyes as large as saucers, she stared at me, stared at the book, looked back at me again as her eyebrows slowly puckered up together. Suddenly her face took on that look that says, 'Where's my piece? I wanna read it." [VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!! and the crowd goes wild!!!!!!!]

"Why can't I read it? Please?" I tried to control myself and play it cool.
"No, I'm reading it. Besides it might be above your reading level anyway."
Instantly insulted, she replied, "Hey, that's not true, I can read chapter books now. You just don't want to share!"Trying not to smile..."Ugh, fine. Maybe if you get dressed and ready to go Cheyenne, I will let Isaac read a story or two from the book-MAYBE."

With that and a huge smile on her face she bounced out of the room and down the hall to instantly prattle on and on to the boys about how they needed to hurry and get ready so we could read this pioneer story about grandma, but only if we are good and maybe we can make mom let us read more than one or two stories. Holy Cow am I going to be sad when reverse psychology stops working!
So we readied ourselves for the 45 minute drive to Cheyenne, Wyoming and I outwardly, begrudgingly, made sure the kids were allowed to take the book. Once in the car, before I was even out of the driveway, the two youngest in the back seat were begging for the first story.
"No." I told them, "I like this song."
"It's a CD mom, you can listen to it anytime." whines 6 year old Jo from the back.
"Fine, I want to listen to the radio for a little bit."
"Noooooo," whines Morgan, "it's so boring, and you said they never have good stations here anyway."
"Okay fine, Isaac start reading."



Here I met some resistance. Thirteen year old Isaac was NOT excited to read and I had to give him a little encouragement (okay it was a straight up threat) to get him to start, but hey it worked and he thanked me later.


I watched my kids for the next 45 minutes giggle and gasp and sigh and squeal over events in their great grandmothers life and I wanted to shout from the rooftops.

 "Today I am a good Mom! Thank you Aunt Michele, Aunt Marsha and big kiss to Grandma wherever you are. You made my kids find joy in the simple and beautiful moments of life!”


I tried to get the kids to stop reading after 2 or 3 stories but that was not going to happen. They were upset when we had to get our shopping done and were more than delighted to begin reading it again on our way home. I held my breath hoping their initial interest had not waned. To my delight they were hooked, and guess what, I have enjoyed hearing the stories too. Occasionally I would jump in and stop a story so we could discuss lessons learned and compare it with my children's life experiences. We have had several pretty amazing talks because of it.

Now every time we get in the car to go somewhere other than around town the book comes too. The kids look forward to it so much and they get very feisty when I resist. Apparently it’s all about the forbidden fruit with my kids. My children have been so inspired by the lessons learned. They will bring up a particular story when something happens that reminds them of something they've read. 

They tell total and complete strangers they are reading their grandmothers life history and how good it is and ask if they have a 'grandma life history' of their own? When others respond that they do not, the general response is filled with expressions of pity and consolation at their terrible misfortune.
Listen to Jo's comment to the cashier at Albertsons, "Oh that's so sad, you poor family. Would you like to have one of my grandma's stories instead? I can share, my grandma wouldn't mind. You will love them." It is moments like this that the poor cashier or clerk or librarian or waitress will look at me oddly, at which point I will be pursing my lips in an attempt to avoid full-on belly laughter.









So inspired, was my daughter after reading how grandma used to attend the rodeo dances dressed as an Indian squaw, that she determined she must be one for Halloween. 

"Grandma was really smart," she said. I bet she got lots of attention from the cute boys that way, 'cause all the other girls were just dressed as cowgirls, but she stood out. I bet she looked so pretty with her dark hair! (Insert her little wicked giggle here) Oh yeah, she knew what she was doing for sure-stealing all the attention!" Upon hearing that remark I blinked hard and had to take a minute and ask myself if Grandma's stories were a good influence. (JUST KIDDING!)

  Yesterday we spent all day sewing Indian and mountain man costumes. It was like the anticipation of the rodeo had rubbed off on my kids. Which reminds me, we HAD to attend the rodeo this year, just like grandma. 

My kids wanted to know why they never got to be in the parade. (While we usually attend the rodeo, this year it was essential that we go because of Daddy AND grandma.) "...And could we please go to the dance afterward?" Answer: NO!

The other latest development (thank you grandma) is a sudden interest in marbles. As we read the passage where grandma talked about playing marbles as a kid, I could hear the comments forming in their little brains before they were even spoken.
 
"I want some marbles. Can we have marbles? Why didn't you get us any marbles? Does Wal-mart have marbles?"

Now thanks to a few thrift shops and antique stores (apparently they have the best kinds- or so my children tell me) my children have started collecting and playing marbles. Every once in a while a terribly maniacal sounding laugh will echo through the house and I know one of my unfortunate children has just lost a particularly lovely round specimen.

The point of all this rambling is to invite all you cousins out there to follow our example. Pull the 'old book' off the shelf. Trap your kids in the car and read it. Take it on a road trip. Use it during FHE. It is fun! It is worthwhile!

Quite frankly as I read about Grandma's life there have been a few times I have thought to myself, "Wow, I wish I had read that 10 years ago when I was going through this or that, etc..." More than anything it gets me thinking, thinking about all sorts of things, certainly too many to list here and if it does that for me, just imagine what it can do for our kids. Give it a shot if you haven't already and if you have read it before, do it again, you'll be amazed how much you forgot!
As a closing thought I just wanted to say how lucky we are to have a mom, grandma, and great grandma who lived a life that delights and inspires others to emulate those experiences and who took time to share those experiences with us.  Generations to come will be blessed because of it.
 
“Grandma thanks for making us laugh and gasp and giggle and cry. We are truly blessed to have you in our family. You are amazing, thank you for sharing your life with us!”

Love,

Emily Romney Williams (and children looking at Grandma & Grandpa's wedding picture)

P.S. Anyone who is willing to have their trash handed to them in 2 years at the Romney reunion is hereby challenged to a game of marbles. You pick the game and bring it on. Oh by-the-way it's best that you start collecting marbles now, because you are going to lose a lot :)