Before and After

October 2nd marked my one year anniversary since I had surgery.  I can't believe how much our life has changed in that long year.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and the lady asked me how I was doing.  I said "fine" without even thinking.  I reached into my purse and saw my calendar and then I said, "Actually, I'm doing GREAT!"  She looked up from her register as if to ask why I had changed my answer.  I said, "A year ago today, I had major surgery to remove as much ovarian cancer as possible.  And here I am today shopping in Wall Mart all by myself.  I never thought it would be possible."  She smiled and said that she was happy for me and wished me continued health.

As I drove home I started thinking about how much I had progressed.  Off and on I will read other people's blogs about how they are back to walking 3-4 miles a day since their cancer.  I thought to myself, "why am I not back to walking 3-4 miles?  What's wrong with me?"  Then it was as if I heard myself say, "Michele, how can you get back to walking 3-4 miles when you never did that before your surgery?  You are back to doing what you used to do.  You are serving and baking and visiting and sharing your love with others.  Yes you are back doing the things that matter most to you!"  A smile grew from the inside out as I drove home with a car load of food; ready to make 4 loaves of whole wheat bread, 4 dozen cinnamon rolls, 3 dozen eggs and fruit for a big visiting teaching district breakfast I was having at my house the next morning.  Yes I am back, back to not having the good sense to know when to stop, but loving every minute of it while I still have the energy to do it!

Last week we went to Vegas to help our daughter move.  She reminded me that it was exactly one year ago that she took our pictures "before" our surgeries and before I lost my hair.  So, for a bit of nostalgia, we went back to the same place and took pictures to compare the difference before and after.

Here is a picture of Craig and I before and after.  Craig hasn't changed much at all, but he looks like he has a totally different wife!



But this is the new "us" and we will continue pressing forward, not caring too much how we look and concentrating on who we are.  Life is not as "easy" as it used to be but we are alive and we can still make a difference - and that is our intent.