Thinking about...thinking positive!

Last week was my week to have my Avastin (I will have it every 3 weeks for the rest of my “healthy” life.)  Things went well and they took my CA-125 count again.  Last time it was 17 and this time it was 21.  I panicked when I heard that it went up, but the doctor said not to worry because it was still in the normal range (0-35) and would vacillate from month to month.

I’m feeling better and better each week, and I’m also taking advantage of my good health.  However, I don’t know when to stop. One of my friends has a family motto and I think it fits me so well.  “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth OVERDOING!”  I go like crazy for a few days and then crash, and then start the cycle over. 

Last night I was able to hear Hilary Weeks speak at a women’s conference.  She was delightful! She reminded me of the importance of thinking positive.  She shared a quote that was so good.

“To a great extent we accomplish what we think about.  Your thoughts, more than anything else, will be the determining factor in what you accomplish during your life.”
                               --Grant Von Harrison (Drawing on the Powers of Heaven pgs. 34-36)

Hilary talked about having a “clicker” and clicking every time she had a positive thought.  My sister sent me a clicker right after my surgery.  I remember lying in bed when I was feeling so awful and all I could think of that was good in my life was a kind, supportive husband (click) and five wonderful children (click, click, click, click, click).  Now I look back at how much better I am feeling then I was then, and I should be clicking a lot more!  This last week my stomach started hurting again for about 3 days, just like it did after surgery.  It wasn’t until then that I realized, “Hey, I haven’t had this stomach pain for a long time.”  I need to learn to be grateful for my good health while I am having it!!!! 

My husband and I were able to go to the temple this week and be the witness couple!  It was so wondeful to be able to do that again.  When they asked us I said yes right away.  My husband looked at me and asked me are you sure you are up to this?  My first thought was why?  Then all of a sudden I realized, "Oh yeah, I have cancer and I've been sick and every time I've come to the temple in the past months I've had to totally pace myself."  I started second guessing myself if I was healthy enough to do this, then I realized that if the Lord had helped me accomplish all of this other stuff I've been doing, he certainly would help me be the witness couple.  So we accepted.  It was so wonderful.  I kept wanting to pinch myself to remind me of how "healthy" I was feeling and to "remember" this special experience because I never know how long this stretch of good health will last.

Lately I have been so inspired by strong women who are going through hard trials.  One of my daughter’s friend is fighting a battle against melanoma http://www.joshalisa.blogspot.com/. I am so strengthened whenever I read about her courageous fight to live!  It makes me want to be a fighter like her.  Her last blog entitled "same spot" had me in tears!  Good tears that made me grateful for what I have.

Last week I got a call from another wonderful woman who was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer stage III-IV over 19 years ago.  What a miracle she is to still be alive!  I loved talking to her and feeling her strong spirit and gaining strength from someone who has gone before me.  She told me that one of her friends challenged her to find at least one good thing about every day.  She said she started doing this and soon found that she was able to come up with a whole list of good things.  She said as she did this little thing,it changed her attitude about many other big things!