December 10, 2011 – Craig Shaves Michele's

I cried last night when I went to bed.  My hair was all matted in the back and you could see my bald head.  This is crazy how it is killing me to lose my hair!  I decided to take a shower this morning and wash my hair.   I thought showering would make me lose it all, but I was wrong.  Yes, a lot came out, but I still had a lot.  As I looked in the mirror, I reminded myself of one of those prisoners in a concentration camp.  It looked bad…too bad to keep it like it was.

Tauna spent the night and so I went downstairs to talk to her and ended up crying again!  I came upstairs and Craig said, “Okay, honey you’ve agonized over this long enough, let’s get the clippers and shave your head right now!’  Of course I didn’t want to do that EVER…but I knew the inevitable was here and so I relented.  Craig shaved my head and Tauna video-taped it.  I shut my eyes and cried off and on while he shaved it.  I couldn’t believe how much hair I still had.  This is one video that is probably not going to make it on my blog.  I look HORRIBLE with a shaved head!  I look like someone from a science fiction movie and I look like a cancer patient!  Ugh imagine that! 

In honor of  me going bald and to show love and support, my son Daniel shaved his head too!  Have you ever wondered if you have a birth mark on the back of your head?  Probably not....but I found out that I do.  Here's a picture of Dan with his new look and picture of the back of my shaved head (with my newly found birthmark).  That's all I can bear to share for now!!!!



This last weekend has been really rough!  This last chemo has been a lot harder on me then the others.  I don't know if it's because I had a taste of feeling good or what, but with these three drugs, (every 3 weeks I get the 3 heavy drugs and then the 2 weeks in between I only get one drug). I feel like I've been knocked down and still not feeling good and then Wednesday its' time to go back to chemo!  There's so much to do for Christmas and I don't have the energy to do it.  That is hard.  But I will survive.  I am very human and this has been the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life!  But, as the saying goes, "I can do hard things" and then I like to add “through Christ!” At times I feel very strong and want to uplift others, but then there are days like yesterday that I don't want to be the strong one anymore!