Making Memories...

Because I have been feeling so good, I was blessed to be able to share a wonderful week and pack it full of memories with my older sister, Tami.  She is the closest in age to me, and together we celebrated her belated 60th birthday!  

It seems like mom's don't hardly ever get to do what WE want to do, because we often put the needs of others above our own.  So I made a list of all the things I thought might be of particular interest to HER and had her chose what she wanted to do.  Here is what we did.

I picked her up from the airport and we went straight to the Salt Lake Temple.  Tami had never been able to do a "live" session in this beautiful temple.  

Even though it was cold and rainy we took the time to take some pictures on temple square.


We tried to take a "selfie" like our kids do, but I think I am lacking the skill.  All you can see is our 2 big heads. It looks like I could use some lessons in this fine art!

We went into the Tabernacle to get warm and were able to listen to the "Bells" rehearse.  It was beautiful!  Then we made sure to take time to visit the beautiful statue of Christ!

One of Tami's greatest loves is ART.  So we went to the "Sacred Gifts" exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art.  It was fabulous!

Tami could have spent all day here!

  She loved listening and reading from the app 

we downloaded onto our I-pads

One of her other main priority was going to the BYU Harold B. Lee Library and scanning her Journals.  As you can see in the picture on the left, she brought a suitcase full of  her 13 volumes of Journals!

The two of us together spent over 30 hours there at the library, scanning her journals and talking.  Oh what fun we had! 

Our kids thought we were crazy when they heard our definition of "fun", but needless to say, we were very pleased with our efforts! 

 We made sure we stopped by the Cougar Eat 

and took a picture with Cosmo!

Life is too short to not take moments like these to create lasting memories!  Happy Birthday Tami, I love you!

I'm RICH because....

I have so many COUSINS to love!!!

My Aunt Marion Romney recently passed away at the age of 94.

We were able to gather to honor her at her funeral in Orem, Utah.  Here are a few of my Romney first cousins who attended. 

It seems like the older we get, 

the only time we see our cousins is at someones funeral.  

So several months ago, we decided to honor my mother while she was still ALIVE!  

Here is a picture of a bunch of my Tenney first cousins that gathered for her 90th Birthday celebration in Mesa, Arizona.

Cousin to cousin we'll always be,
Special friends from the same family tree.

 Author: Unknown

Feelin blessed and still going strong!

I thought I would give a quick update on how my health is going. It's been 3 weeks since I started my new healthy protocol.  I have to say that it has not been easy!  I didn't realize how much of a "head game" it would be in trying to eat healthy foods!

It is so crazy the way practically everything is tied to "food".  Our society doesn't get together unless there is food there, and it is usually the kind of food that is not good for you.  Even going to the grocery store, I realize how much of the food there is processed too.

Now after having said all of the bad about what I'm doing....I must say that I am feeling fabulous!  I was prepared to feel nauseated and not have any energy, but it is just the opposite.  I'm enjoying feeling healthy and happy and spending time with my family. 

I am trying to eat "whole" foods, the way the Lord has sent them here, without any processing or changing or adding to them.  That is so hard!!!!

I also eat Asparagus twice a day and have 3 berry smoothies (loaded with anti-oxidents) a day.  

I just learned how to sprout seeds this week and I'm so excited about it! I was taught that you can use your oven to have a warm place for the seeds to sprout faster.  

You are supposed to rinse it with warm water, twice a day and cover it with a warm damp cloth. The other trick I learned was that you put a jar of hot water in the oven each time you rinse.  It was amazing how it worked!

These are alfalfa seeds that I sprouted in the oven.  When seeds are sprouted in the dark, they look yellow like the picture on the left.  All you have to do is set them on the counter for a couple of hours and the photosynthesis from the light will turn them green.  So cool!

A blast from the past!

I am so grateful for my wonderful Mother and Father!

We recently acquired some old photos from our Romney cousins that we have never seen before. 

 Here is a picture of my mom and dad, Pearl and Lee Romney, taken in our living room in Flagstaff, Arizona.

I'm the youngest of five kids and so by then, they had stopped taking a lot of pictures.  So when I find a new picture that I am in - I'm thrilled!

Here are 2 pictures of our family in Flagstaff, with my Grandma
Vilate Lee Romney and my cousin Jill Romney.

And here's a classic picture with my mom and sisters in curlers! 

Do our kids even know what curlers are?

And now here we are, all grown up!

Mother's Day

What a blessing to be a Mother and a Grandmother!

 Here are some pictures we took on Mother's Day here in Utah. 

Here I am with a picture of my "baby" Tauna.

 Amy is so good to remind us to take as many pictures as possible.  Here we are with her four kids.Natalie, Brooke, Mya and Ryan.

Byron and Tracy and Carston also came over to celebrate with us.  You would never know by looking, but Tracy is pregnant with our 12th grandchild.  It's a little girl who is due in 4 weeks!

It was so rewarding getting to be with 3 of our 5 children.  

We missed being with our other 2 children though.  Dan and Kyrstin were out of town for a family reunion and 

Charlene and Paul Johnson and kiddos live in Las Vegas. 

I love this quote!  

I have gained so much and learned to love in a new dimension 

from having each of my 5 children!

A special thanks goes out to this wonderful guy 

who made it possible for me to be a Mom!

Bottle or Goblet?

It is so interesting to note the wide spectrum of emotions that I have been feeling lately.  I wish I could say that I have been experiencing the "Goblet of Gratitude" all the time, but I wouldn't be truthful if I did.  I don't know if I would say that I have been feeling the "Bottle of Bitterness" either, but I certainly have had more pity parties than I would like to admit.  The Saturday of General Conference I felt more depressed than I have for many months. My numbers had not gone down like I had wanted them to and I began to feel an absence of Hope.  Sunday morning came and I prayed fervently that at least one of the talks would touch me.  It was so amazing that the first talk seemed to be written just for me! Pres. Uchtdorf's talk on Gratitude and Endings was just what I needed to hear.  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng 

He talked about how grief is caused by what seems to be an ending for many.  I could totally relate to that statement.  Having stage IV cancer has made me have to face the possibility of a premature ending to my life.  His words gave me hope.  "There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.  Why is this?  Because we are made of the stuff of eternity.  We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God...who promises eternal blessing without number. Endings are not our destiny."  This was exactly what I needed to hear to help me keep an eternal perspective!

The other thing he said that impressed me was, "Gratitude is an Act of Faith.  Being grateful IN our circumstances is an act of faith in God.  It requires that we trust God and HOPE for things we may not see but which are true."  Pres. Uchtdorf's counsel applies to each of us.  "...I don't believe the Lord expects us to be LESS thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease."  So I will try to exercise an act of faith, by being grateful IN my circumstances.

Last Wednesday I met with Dr. Wallentine, my Oncologist.  My CA-125 went down to 231, which is much better than 298. However the danger of me going into anaphylaxis shock as I receive more and more of the chemotherapy drug Carboplatin, and other varying issues, has caused us to re-evaluate my treatment.

We had a frank discussion and I asked the doctor how many of his stage IV ovarian cancer patients have died.  I think that question caught him off guard and he kind of stumbled over his words for a moment before he said that he still had a stage IV patient he was treating.  I then point blank said, "Doctor we are at a point that we need some very direct answers from you."  We then asked him if chemotherapy had ever "cured" any of his stage IV patients and he said no.  We already knew that answer, but needed to hear it from him.

About 6 months ago I had a conversation with Craig that went something like this.  "Honey, if there comes a time and the doctors tell me that they can't help me anymore and basically send me home to die, will we try to look into non-medical methods to try and save my life?"  He agreed that we would.  I then received a blessing in November that admonished me to pray to have an open mind so that I might be led to any alternative methods that might help.  Now I must say that this has been a big step for me to try and have an open mind, because I grew up with my family trying practically every homeopathic and home remedy that was out there.  Sadly to say I have been very prejudiced against any of those methods and so the thought of me trying to find one that I felt good about considering was like finding a needle in a haystack.

To make a long story short, the Lord has blessed me to be led to an alternative method that I was directed to by 3 different sources.  I talked to my doctor about it and told him that I wanted to try this.  I was so amazed at what he said.  "If you were going to try this regimen because some man told you it worked, I would tell you not to do it.  But since you said that you feel like the Spirit has told you to do this, then I support you completely, because the Spirit is the source of all truth and light."  I was dumbfounded that a medical doctor would be so supportive of this decision, based upon my faith.  I had to fight back the tears of appreciation.

After much prayer Craig and I have decided not to finish the last 2 rounds of chemotherapy.  I started this alternative approach this last week and will have my doctor monitor me while I'm on it.  I don't know what will happen to me.  We are praying for a miracle and hope that it is possible for me to be healed.  But if not, we will accept his will, no matter how hard it will be.  I think of Naaman who had leprosy and was told to wash in the river Jordan seven times.  He was an important man and traveled a long way to see the Prophet. He was insulted that the prophet never even came out to talk to him.  I'm pretty sure that he didn't believe that washing in the Jordan would heal his leprosy.  Whether it be pride or whatever it was, he was going to leave without doing what the prophet had told him to do.  Not until his servant said, "If the prophet bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it?"  Naaman then obeyed the prophet and was cleansed of his leprosy.

I've thought over and over about this story.  Could the Lord have healed Naaman without having him wash in the river Jordan seven times?  Of course he could have!  But the Lord required something from Naaman, something that was really hard for him to do.  I feel that this is the same thing with me.  I haven't believed in natural medicine before and I feel that for some reason I am supposed to do this new regimen.  I feel very good about it, but I don't know if this is the way I will be healed or if it is just a matter of the Lord seeing if I am willing to be obedient.  So for now I will go forward with faith, hoping and praying for the best.  But if not... I will still believe!

In the meantime, I will enjoy special times with my husband and some of our children....

Memorable times with my some of my grandchildren....

And enjoy the creations the Lord has put just outside our back door!

O Give Thanks...

Yesterday I had my 4th treatment of Chemo.  I found out that my white blood cell count was good, but my red blood cells and my platelets were low.  The platelets were 75,000 and they should be 144,000.  Since my white blood cells were high enough, they decide to go ahead and give me my treatment.  However, they told me that I need to watch for bruising, bleeding and severe headaches.  They are going to have me come back next week to check my platelets.  If they have not increased enough, I may have to have a blood transfusion, but hopefully not.

My CA-125 was preciously at 316 and went down to 298.  I have to say that I was very disappointed.  I know it's going down in the right direction. The doctor said that from now on it will not have the big spikes in number in going down.  I told him that was not good enough for me.  If we continue at this rate, I have 3 times more and if it only goes down 20 each, my CA-125 will only be around 240.  Not good enough at all seeing that the normal CA-125 blood count is 0-35!  My nurse continues to tell me not to run my life by these numbers, but it is so hard not to!  I guess I do need to be grateful that it at least went down!

I went to the Provo Temple after my chemo to try to let go some of my frustrations.  It felt so good leaving this Telestial world behind and walking into a Terrestrial environment.  The new film is so excellent.  Eve in this film is so REAL!  I love her reactions to things.  It makes me tear up almost every time.  It really makes me think about what I would feel if I had been in that same situation.

After the session I was praying in the Celestial Room.  I then sat there for a while pondering and then picked up the Old Testament.  I turned to several pages of scripture, trying to see if the perfect scripture would jump out at me and help me feel better.  The first 3 were nice scriptures, but didn't hit the spot.  The last one did.

"O Give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good:  

because his mercy endureth forever!"  

Psalms 118:1

After reading that scripture, I realized that I did have so many things to be grateful for!  As I left the temple, I did something different this time.  I stopped at the place where you write names to be put on the prayer roll and this time I wrote only things that I was thankful for in my life.  When I finished, I put them in the little box and left.  I wanted those words of gratitude to be on the altars of the temple for 2 weeks, just like the names I ask to be prayed over!

One of the things I am grateful for is my HAIR !!!!!  I can't believe I still have it.  I don't understand why, but I am not complaining!  I have noticed that it is thinning, little by little.  So I have come up with a plan - to make it last as long as possible.

Here my wet hair is just after washing it.  You can see the balding spots.

Below is my hair just after blow drying it - but still shows my balding spots

Here I am after having used a brown hair crayon and colored in my scalp.  Thus giving me the look that my hair is much fuller than it is!  Pretty cool huh!

I'm so happy to have ANY hair!!!!!!  

Here I am ready to go to church and thankful for a head of hair!

I'm Half Way There! Three down and hopefully only 3 more to go!

I had my 3rd treatment of my second round of chemo on Thursday, March 13th.  This second time around we are hoping that I only have to have 6 treatments of chemo to bring my numbers back into the normal range.  I usually have Chemo on Wednesdays, so I will be well enough to go to Sacrament Meeting on Sundays.  But this time, Amy and Steve were right in the middle of moving from Lehi, Utah to Pleasant Grove, Utah and I wanted to be as helpful as possible.  So we put off my chemo until Thursday - the day they actually moved.  Because I am given some anti-nausea medications and a steroid when I get chemo, I don't start feeling the affects of it for about 2 days.  So it fit in perfectly to be able to help with their move.  I feel so blessed that I was able to help out as much as I was.

I didn't start feeling really sick until Saturday and Sunday.  But boy when it hits, it really knocks me off my feet.  Those two days I'm in bed almost the whole time.  My body aches and I'm feeling pretty weak.  But the one good thing that helps me through all of this is that I know that this too shall pass and in a couple of days I will start feeling better and better.

On Thursday I got my CA-125 count this time and it was good news!  It had dropped to 316!  Six weeks ago it was at 444 and then 3 weeks later it had gone up to 501 and now finally it is starting to drop.  This is a sign that the chemo is definitely starting to kill the cancer cells.  Great news!

One day last week I was helping Amy when the grand kids and some neighbors wanted to go for a ride around the block in the back of "Papa's Truck".  I didn't see anything wrong with this, and thought it would keep them busy for a while.  We had almost completed out little drive, when I looked up and saw flashing lights following me.  Ugh!

That's when I realized I didn't even have my purse or driver's license!  I stopped the truck, got out and said to the police officer, "I'm just a grandma, helping my kids move, and giving my grand kids a little drive around the block as a diversion."  The cop was very nice and told the kids that they were hanging out over the edge too much.  I told them all to sit down and not get up.  (This is a picture of them once we were home).  We had always made sure the little ones were sitting down next to the cab.  The officer asked if they were all my grand kids and I said, "No, just 6 of them!"  As I drove away, it looked like he was taking my license plate number, probably checking to see if  I had possible kidnapped these kids!  He never asked me for my license or other papers!  Only in Utah!!  Here was another tender mercy for a grandma just trying to help her kids out!

P.S.  Miracle of miracles.....my hair is still here!  It's getting thinner as the time goes on, but I'm so glad that I didn't shave it off right at the beginning.

Which Team's jersey will you Wear?

The other day I read this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland and it hit me like a ton of bricks!

“The FUTURE of this world has long been DECLARED; the final outcome between GOOD and evil is already KNOWN. There is absolutely no question as to who WINS because the VICTORY has already been posted on the SCOREBOARD. The only really strange thing in all of this is that we are still down here on the FIELD trying to decide which TEAM’S JERSEY we want to wear!”

The thought of not choosing the correct team's jersey seems ridiculous, yet that is what many of us do at times!

Brother David A. Christensen shared the following scripture, asking us to note the PAST TENSE....

32 And I also remember that thou HAST SAID THAT THOU HAS PREPARED A HOUSE FOR MAN, yea, even among the mansions of thy Father, in which man might have a more excellent hope; wherefore man must hope, or he cannot receive an inheritance in the place which thou hast prepared. (Ether 12:32)

PAST TENSE - In other words, our mansion is already prepared!  There should be no question as to which team's jersey we will wear!!!  

So when times get hard, and life seems almost not worth living, 

let's remember to chose CHRIST - 

because we already have a mansion prepared with him!

What is the meaning of Joy?

On Saturday I decided to try and go to the Stake Women's Conference.  I have noticed that when I push myself to do things, I actually "forget" that I don't feel well.  That's exactly what happened.  For some reason when I am around people, it is as if little endorphins are released and I actually feel better!

I was able to enjoy a few bites of Kneaders famous French Toast with whip cream and strawberries.  Then we all visited at our table while we ate and then we headed into the chapel to hear from our guest speaker, Brother David Alma Christensen.  He was so delightful!  He said so many things that that were true, that most of us don't like to talk about.  I loved the way he was so honest about how life has dealt him some rough cards.  He described to us some of the different challenges he has had in his family.  He said that if he wasn't careful, that he would never find JOY, because of all the things that have not turned out the way he thought they should.

But then he reminded us that when we were told that we got to come down to earth, that we SHOUTED for JOY! We are here now....so what has changed?  He said that we need to shout for joy NOW and he told us how it was possible to do that.

So many of us have misinterpreted the definition of  JOY. He told us that the greatest JOY of all is to feel the LOVE OF GOD!  So.....

JOY = THE LOVE OF GOD

Many times we think that joy has something to do with happiness or contentment.  But if you take the scripture in 2 Nephi 25,

 "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy,"  

and substitute the word JOY for LOVE of  GOD, 

then you can see how we can ALL have joy now.

Men are that they might have JOY...or in other words... 

Men are that they might have THE LOVE OF GOD!

Can we have the Love of God now?  Yes indeed!  Then that  also means that we can have JOY now too!

I Still have my Hair!

Here's a quick update.  The big news is that I still have my hair.  I ran into the girl yesterday that I had chemo with 3 weeks ago and she is completely bald.  So - I'm some how lucking out for now.  I can start to see the signs of pieces of hair falling  here and there, but most of it is still on my head.  So I will enjoy it while I can.

I am scheduled to have chemo every 3 weeks.  I was so happy to finally start feeling better on the third week..  I was surprised how long it took me to bounce back the first two weeks.  I guess you could say that I am a little impatient.  I should really look back and remember that when I had surgery and then started chemo a month later - that I didn't drive myself anywhere for 9 weeks.  So if I compare that to now, I am doing so much better.

So during my healthy week, I was able to help a little with some remodeling, and then help take care of some of the grand kids while their parents were busy.  I wasn't feeling really well on this day, but managed to go to McDonald's for some ice cream with the kiddos.

  

We had some of the grand kids come and watch "Pete's Dragon" and eat popcorn while their parents were working on their houses.  Byron and Tracy were sheet rocking their basement and Amy and Steve bought a home in Pleasant Grove and are remodeling that before they move in in March.  Everyone has been so good about helping each other out when ever we can.  It's great to live only 20 minutes away from each other so we can help each other out when we need it.

Craig and I were able to go to our Stake Valentines Prime Rid Dinner!  It was so nice and delicious!

And then someone Heart Attacked our Door and made us feel very special!

I had my 2nd session of Chemo on Tuesday this week. I usually get really sick on the 3 and 4th days.  This time around, they gave me an extra nausea medication and I did not throw up on day 3 like I did last time. So that is good news.  I got my CA-125 test taken and it had gone up to 501.  Previously it was 444, but I had a feeling that it would go up, because it had been another 3 weeks since my last test before we started chemo.  The doctor also had warned us that sometimes the numbers go up on the first chemo treatment because it is killing all of those cells and it registers on the test.  Hopefully next time, the numbers will start going down again.  We are continuing to pray that the chemo will kill the cancer and I can have more time without having to constantly fight this battle.  We thank you all for you continued love, support and prayers!

Never too old to play “Beauty Shop!”

Last week when I wasn’t feeling good enough to go out to lunch, some of my sweet friends brought their lunch to share with me! 

As we were visiting, I told them that I was going to lose my hair in 2 weeks and I hated that my roots were already turning grey.  I mentioned that I had some hair dye in my closet and the next thing we knew… we had set up our own beauty shop.

Lucy was the lucky one chosen to do the honors.  She said she was no professional, but I told her that I didn’t care, since it would all be gone soon.

Then all of a sudden, “splat” and then I hear Lucy gasp, “Oh no, I got it all over your cheek!”  Then a few minutes later she says, “Uh oh, there goes your ear!”  And then finally I think Kim said between laughs, “You might want to check out her forehead too!”

   

Next thing I knew there was Lana being Johnny on the spot, with a napkin trying to rub all of the dye off my face before it became permanent.  Then of course we need to thank dear Kim, who pulled out her phone in the moment of crisis… she knew a Kodak moment when she saw it!

What started out to be a not so good day for me, ended up being a total blast!  Thank you dear sisters for “cheering up the sad and making someone feel glad!”  Now my hair is good to go for a couple of weeks, hopefully I won’t lose it any sooner than that!
 

Getting better and better...

I am getting better and better every day!  I am so grateful that the effects of the chemo seem to get less and less each day.  I still have pain and nausea each day, but nothing near as bad as on Friday and Saturday.  I pushed myself and even went to church on Sunday.  Monday I was not feeling very good again, but today I am much better.  

For my birthday, my sweet sons bought me a new contraption for my Ipad so I could use it while I was recuperating from chemo.  As you can see, I'm milking my sickness for all it's worth!

I'm grateful for small miracles.  Tomorrow it will be a week since I had chemo and I'm finally starting to feel human again.  With my first round of chemo, I would have had to go back to chemo tomorrow again!  Back then I was on a trial and I went 12 weeks straight until I had to stop because of terrible neuropathy in my feet.  So this time around with having chemo every 3 weeks is such a blessing!

The Honeymoon is Over!

Well that saying pretty much describes how I am feeling today!  I was finally able to crash last night when my steroids wore off.  I had a great sleep and then woke up to complete nausea, throwing up and flu like symptoms. I've been in bed all day and trying to survive through these next two or three days.

It was so sweet when Craig prayed this morning, how he thanked Heavenly Father that we knew what to expect and that this too shall pass.  I'm so grateful for this knowledge too.  Thank you all for you love and prayers, it means so much to both of us.