Life’s Bumpy Roads

On Saturday Craig and I set off for an adventure.  We took the Squaw Peak road that takes you across this windy, bumpy road and ends in Hobble Creek.  We had heard about it and even looked on-line to make sure that it went through.  Craig looked at the full map, but I didn’t until we came home.  It’s a good thing, because had I seen how long, windy and bumpy it was going to be, I probably would not have gone.  The crazy thing is that I was the one that suggested it.  Why?  Because this was Craig’s love language (quality time/nature) and my love language is acts of service and he had just helped me babysit our grandkids over night.  So I wanted to show him back how much I appreciated his sacrifice for me.  If you don’t know what your love language is, go here to find out.

We began driving on this road and it wasn’t too bad at first.  Then it started getting a little bumpy, but it was not a problem.  The view was beautiful and the leaves were starting to change already and it was almost breath taking to see all the vibrant colors.  Then we started climbing up the mountain and there were no guard rails.  I reached over and locked the door.  Then the road started getting muddy and at one point on my side, it looked like the road had deteriorated and that we would fall off the cliff.  I closed my eyes, held my breath and screamed inside.  When I opened my eyes and realized that we had made it, I decided that it was time to pray.  I know this all sounds stupid, but I was scared.  I prayed that we would be safe and make it out of there okay.  Then after my prayer, the road started getting horribly bumpier.  Our trucked barely crept over the rocks and it heaved up and down from rock to rock. 

The sign came that read, Hobble Creek – 15 miles.  "Oh I can make it that far," I thought.  After a half an hour of this same kind of jolting I asked Craig how far we had gone and he told me only 5 miles.  I wanted to die!  I silently prayed, “Oh please let this bumpiness end!”  I thought that if it would get even a little bit better that, I could make it the rest of the way.  My neck and shoulders were in pain from being so tense.  Craig told me to relax, but I couldn’t!  We continued on like this for quite a while - (the drive took 2 hours) when all of a sudden I realized that the road was no longer bumpy and we were actually cruising at a pretty good pace.

I thought to myself, “When did the road change?”  I hadn’t even noticed.  “How long had we been driving on a smoother surface?”  I hadn’t even noticed.  All I knew was that it was over, my prayers had been answered and I had moved on that fast.  Not even skipping a beat to look back and thank the Lord. How sad!  Not sad that it was over, but sad that I had not REMEMBERED how terrible it was just a little bit earlier and how it was now so much more comfortable.

As I realized what had just happened, I thought how this little bumpy road was like a parable of my life.  When I was up in Heaven I had heard all about earth, maybe even had a chance to look through heavenly binoculars and take a peek at earth.  I know I was so excited to come to earth - because I have always loved a new challenge, and challenge is what it would be!  I probably was given an overview of my life that showed the windy, bumpy roads that I would go through, but just like here, I didn’t really pay attention to it.  I was probably told that I would have cancer and would suffer from the side effects for the rest of my life and I probably eagerly agreed to come, just to get to experience earth life and gain a body.  Now looking back at what I’ve gone through, I wonder had I really understood what cancer was all about, would I have tried to opt out not to come and maybe taken an on-line course for an earthlike experience.  You know, learning the same things, but not actually having to physically experience them.  haha  But of course that wasn't possible.  Maybe it is a good thing that we don’t know what is ahead of us!

But here I am on earth and when I came to the road sign that said, "Cancer-Rough Road", I thought, "I can probably handle that."  The earlier road in my life had had some minor twist and turns and bumps, but NOTHING prepared me for this. I thought I was going to die! I remember going through my sickest times after my surgery and during my chemo-therapy.  I had so many bowel problems that I remember crying out, “Will I ever be happy again?”  I wondered when this horribly bumpy road of cancer would slow down.  I even begged Heavenly Father, “Oh please let this bumpiness end!”

Now eleven months later, I look up and ask “When did my road change?”  I hadn’t completely noticed because it has been a gradual change.  “How long have I been driving on a smoother surface?”  I hadn’t totally noticed.  All I knew was that it was over, my prayers had been answered and I had moved on that fast.  Not even skipping a beat to look back and pause and thank the Lord like I should have.

While I was sick I thought that I would NEVER forget what I had gone through and I would be grateful the moment it was over.  And yet, as the Lord has blessed me to gradually get well, I have failed to notice that the road was no longer as bumpy as it used to be.  My heart sorrowed, that I so quickly had forgotten the bumpy journey I had just been on.  No wonder the most important word in the scriptures is REMEMBER!

This parable has helped me stop and look at the beautiful changing colors in my life right NOW.  To count my blessings that my road is smooth right now and that the Lord has heard my prayers.  To learn to enjoy having a new short hairdo and be happy I have any hair at all. For me I haven’t reached my destination yet, and so I must enjoy the journey, every twist and turn of it!  I need to cherish the smooth road of health I am on now and prepare for the bumpy times that will come; (stage IV cancer doesn't go away) and always remember to express gratitude that I am alive and able to still be on this earthly journey, no matter the condition of my road!

"Stories on the Sabbath"

                                             "The Value of the Articles of Faith"

When I was 12 years old I went to visit my favorite cousin Marleen up in Reno, Nevada.   I rode with my Aunt Michele to Las Vegas and then she put me on a Greyhound bus to ride the rest of the way up to Reno.  On the bus I sat next to an older person (grandma or grandpa) to this day I think it was a grandma.  I started reading the Book of Mormon.  She asked what book I was reading and I told her.  I told her it was a religious book like the Bible and that I was a Mormon.  She asked me what do the Mormons believe in. 

Well…I proceeded to recite to her the 13 articles of faith.  I had them memorized because I had just completed my Faith In God Program in order to Graduate from Primary.  It was so easy to recite them to her and they answered all of her questions.  I was so grateful I had memorized them.

Fast Forward 20 years….I’m sitting in Tucson, AZ at a World Wide Training Broadcast. At the end of the Broadcast, President Monson shares a letter he had recently received about someone’s conversion due to a young girl reciting to them the articles of faith. 

Pres. Monson said the person writing the letter said a young girl rode with her on a bus as she was on her way to visit her Aunt in Reno, Nevada.  This person now knows that the girl was reciting to her the articles of faith.  The older woman was so impressed at the conviction that this young girl had about her faith at such a young age and proceeded to look up the church after their bus ride.  A few years later she was baptized along with many members of her family.  Little did this young girl realize that she was sharing her testimony as she shared her beliefs and convictions, nor did she realize the eternal difference this meeting had on the life of the woman and her children and many other family members. 

True story written by my niece Sharee Jackson Williams

Summer Thoughts...

It's been 2 months since Craig was layed off work.  Every day he spends hours on the internet looking for positions that he can apply for. You would think that would be easy, but not for someone who is looking for a C.O.O. Vice President or Senior Position.  We continue to fast and pray and attend the temple and do our part, having faith that the Lord will bless us with something soon.  Strangely enough we feel at peace.  Some days it's easier to be patient than others. 

Every week Craig and I have the opportunity of going to the temple.  We usually go to the Provo Temple because the sessions are every 20 minutes.  Today as we were walking up the sidewalk, we saw families all over the temple grounds.  They all looked different, but there was one common thing about each group....a young man in a suit with a missionary hair cut and a big grin!  Wednesdays are the days that the new missionaries are dropped off at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) which is right across the street from the Provo Temple.  We slowed down as we walked so we could watch these last precious moments these families were having with each other. 

There always was a camera involved, capturing fun group shots, and one on one shots with little brother and little sister.  It tugged at my heartstrings as I saw these emotional scenes unfold right before my eyes.  But the scene that made me choke back tears was seeing a group of three very tightly connected people walk by.  I quickly turned around to view a perfect kodack moment - oh how I wish I had had a camera with me! There walked a young missionary flanked by his mother and father - all three with arms tightly around the other, cherising the last few moments they had with each other for the next two years.  Oh what precious memories that brought back to me of when our sons left on their missions.  These young men leave being boys and come back as men.  What an incredible experience awaits all of those families!

After the session as I was preparing to leave, I walked by the counter where the prayer roll was.  This is a place where you can put names of your loved ones or friends that you know are struggling in one way or the other and they are prayed for in the temple.  I wanted to put a couple of our less active Sunday School students names on and of course my children and grandchildren's names.  I stopped and picked up a pen to begin writing.  There are small pieces of paper that you can use if you want it to be private or a big list that you can put people's name on.  I decided to use the big list this time, because I could finish up the paper with the names I was going to add.  Just as I was about to write, my eye saw the word Romney on the above line.  I didn't want to be noisy reading someone else's name that they had put on, but since that is my maiden name, my curiosity got the best of me.  I glanced up and read the name, "Mitt Romney and wife."  WOW!  That is so neat that someone put his name on the prayer roll.  Here he is my 2nd cousin and I haven't even thought of doing that.  I don't know him personally, but my father and his father were first cousins and knew and loved each other!  Then it started me thinking that I need to start praying for Mitt in my own prayers.  I'm ashamed to say that I haven't done that.  I then thought of his sweet family and all of the sacrifices that they are making so that we can have a man of integrity running for the President of the United States.  It was a sweet reminder that everyone needs our prayers!

"Stories on the Sabbath" - Education Week Tidbits

Two weeks ago I was able to attend BYU Education Week.  What an incredible experience that was for me.  I took my little I-pad and wrote down things that impressed me.  Here are some notes from classes that were highlights for me.

Brent L. Top gave a class entitled, "What is this thing called death? Teachings about the Spirit World."  I just saw at Deseret Book that he is releasing a new book with the same title.

Knowledge about dying teaches us about living!

"Let death be daily before your eyes, and you will never entertain any abject thought nor too eagerly covet anything.". -- Epicetus

Brother Top gave us FOUR GUIDING PRINCIPLES:  About Living to Die

1. THINGS WONT CHANGE TOO MUCH - We leave this world with the same degree of intelligence that we have in this life.  In theMTC- some missionaries think that the minute they walk into the MTC that they will be changed. Just like any calling that we have, we bring with us what and who we are. 

 "Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." (Alma 34:33-34)

Hebert C. Kimball said:
"If men and women do not become sanctified here......they will have to learn in spirit."

2.  WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
We shall have a perfect knowledge of our actions good or bad, and our guilt if we haven't repented.  A person who had a near death experience recorded how she felt when she saw the faces of those that she had affected whether good or bad.  She saw her first grade class and even smelled the cleaner the janitor used.  She had been made fun of, and she saw the face of her teacher and saw how it had affected the teacher when she had been hurt by others.  She said that she had a bright recollection of her guilt and her happiness.  She also said that she saw everything that had ever happened in her life and every one in the room also knew it.

"For verily the voice of the Lord is unto all men, and there is none to escape; and there is no eye that shall not see, neither ear that shall not hear, neither heart that shall not be penetrated. 3 And the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed.  (D&C 1:2-3)

WHAT WILL MY VIDEO LOOK LIKE? 
Brother Top talked about what it would be like when we are judged. 

"Then if our hearts have been hardened, yea, if we have hardened our hearts against the word, insomuch that it has not been found in us, then will our state be awful, for then we shall be condemned.  For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence."  (Alma 12:13-14)

He said that he had always envisioned the day of judgement as watching a MOVIE of our lives.  If we don't repent, our words, and works will condemn us and we will all sit watching our own movie with everyone else watching it too.  Then he said he was greatful for the gift of repentance.  But how would that work with the movie?  Maybe as we are watching the movie of our lives and we come to a place that we had repented, that all of sudden the screen would go black and everyone would all sit there in silence wondering what horrible thing we had done during that time.  Then he commented that with the digital editing expertise we now have, that he thought that the black would be edited out and that you might not even notice where the movie had been spliced back together.  But then he shook his head and said, "No, it won't even be like that."

Now this is the part that hit me really strong!  He said, "You see Repentance is not just about changing WHAT we did, but WHO we become. Repentance actually changes me and you.  We will not just have our video spliced and edited.... But because of the Atonement...we will GET A NEW MOVIE...because we are a new person in Christ!  I am a new person, a different person.  Those things I have repented of are remembered no more!  Our omniscient God sees the new person, not the old."  Wow - that is so awesome.  It hit me so hard that tears trickled down my cheeks.

 ALLOWS US TO GET A NEW MOVIE!






3.  SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
D&C - 64:33 - "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work.  And out of small things... proceedeth that which is great."

A very bad man who had a near death experience said he saw one night of his past life.  "There was one moment that was redeeming for me..I got to see my younger sister who had a bad night and I went into her bedroom and just put my arms around her and comforted her."  It turned out that that one small act was the most glorifying thing he had done in his life.

4.  DON'T CHASE SHADOWS
"Do not follow (after a priority or) a practice that will bring you later regret...you may find that you have lost the substance while grasping at the shadow.  Seek for the real thing, not the artificial.
Seek for the eternal things of God, not for that which is here today and gone tomorrow."
                      -- Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley 388, 494

On September 11th as the twin towers were collapsing, the last phone calls from people who were dying were made to family members, telling them how much they loved them.  We need to ask ourselves, "What am I spending my time doing?  Is it something that helps me to prepare for eternity?"

What really is of substance that we should be working towards?
1.  Love
2.  Family

Family is substance not shadows!  The angels that are allowed to minister to us are our family!
We as family members would do anything for our wayward children, even if it meant going onto the spirit world to do that.  So why don't we realize that our loved ones who have gone on before us can do the same thing for us!

Count your many blessings….

Name them one by one….
 
   1.Claire Nichole Garvin-2 months  2. Ryan Stephen Rindlisbacher-5 months
 
   3. Carston Bradley Garvin-14 months  4.  Logan Daniel Garvin-20 months
   
5.  Mya Kate Rindlisbacher – 3 1/2 years

             6. Cassidy Lynne Johnson           7. Cooper Charles Johnson
               Our twins are now two months shy of being four years old.

Here are our four oldest Blessings!

8.  Brooke Addison Rindlisbacher – 5 years old – Kindergarten this year!

9.  Natalie Brynn Rindlisbacher – will be 8 in October and get baptized!
 
10.  Kara Nichole Johnson – 9 years old - going into 4th grade

11.  Allison Michele Johnson – 11 years old – 6th grade - Middle School

COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE!!!!!!!

 

Last Sunday we had our youngest grandbaby Claire, blessed by her father, Daniel Garvin

                         Kyrstin, Daniel, Logan and little Claire
     This was the first time our whole family has been together in almost two years!

               Grandma Garvin giving some kisses to little Claire Bear!

 Another great blessing for me is that today marks 5 months since I finished having Chemotherapy and I'm still going strong!

"Stories on the Sabbath"

Well it's been a very busy week for me.  I was able to go to BYU Education Week this week and it was AWESOME!  As I walked from class to class, I would take deep breaths of fresh air and just say to myself, "I can't believe I am healthy enough to be doing this!  Six months ago I would have never dreamed I would have the strength to do this."  I had an incredible experience and I feel so very uplifted from what I learned!  It was a special treat when my daughter Charlene came on Wednesday and I was able to go to some classes with her during the rest of the week.

Two years ago when we moved to Provo, I got to go the Education Week for the first time in years.  I was so excited about it that I invited a few friends to come over and "share" what we had learned with each other.  I let them go first and then I ended with just a few slides.  Well 35 slides later, and people's heads nodding, I realized that I had dumped way too much on them!  That experience is now our family joke when I start getting too intense about something, someone will just say,  "why don't you just share a few slides with us mom" and I quickly get the message. :-)

Sooooooo, because I learned so many awesome things, and so that I don't end up dumping the whole load on my blog, I thought I would take a Sunday every now and then and share some of the wonderful insights that I learned at BYU Education Weeks this year!  I'm too tired to share anything right now, but hope you will stay tune during the coming weeks to hear what I've learned.

Yesterday, was the final day of our 70 day program of reading the Book of Mormon!  Yippee.  That was incredible and overwhelming all at the same time!  For those of you who didn't hear about it or who would like to start a scripture reading program, feel free to go to my blog.  Here is the official website.
www.bomsummer2012.blogspot.com .  I will be leaving this blog open for future reference.  The order of the blog has been flipped so now, instead of having the newest blog on top, (Day 70), it starts with the oldest which introduces the program and then starts with (Day 1).

Click here to go to the very first blog post introducing the Book of Mormon Reading Program.

Even if you don't read the whole scripture block each day, you can go here for a daily devotional for you or your family which consists of; a spiritual thought, 3 or 4 focus scriptures, food for thought (coments from when I taught Institute) and children's videos that go along with the scripture block. 

Happy Birthday to my sweet husband

August 18th is Craig’s birthday and I wanted to share some of him cute pictures.  I’m not sure how old he is in any of these pictures, but I think he is so cute!
 
Wow – check out those new teeth!
 

Here is his passport picture of when he went on a mission to Argentina
Craig and I met on a blind date on October 6, 1977 and we were married in the Arizona Temple on March 18, 1978.  Here is our wedding picture. 

And here is our 30th Wedding Anniversary Picture.  My how we have changed.
 
And now four years later, we look even more different!

If I were to use one word to describe my sweetheart, it would be “integrity”.  I have never met another man like him.  He does what is right ALL the TIME – even when people are not watching!  He is such a noble man of God and has a strong testimony of the gospel.  I thought I loved Craig before I got cancer, but I cannot tell you how much my love for him has grown.  When I was in the hospital for 10 days he would hardly leave my side.  Since then he has treated me so tenderly throughout my whole ordeal and continues to provide love and protection for me.  He is such a great friend and listener and confidant.  He has so much patience and has probably gained most of it putting up with me!  I am so grateful to be sealed for time and all eternity to this amazing man.  Happy Birthday Craig… I love you!

A truly inspiring example!

I don't know if you read my blog entitled Visible and non-visible trials where I talked about being humbled when I met a beautiful woman at the temple.  (check out the post above if you haven't read it).  Anyway, I still have not been able to talk to her, but today I had the idea to google her name.  I was thrilled when a picture of her popped up with an article about her and her disease.  I was so inspired by her example that I want to share it with you.  When I talked to her in the dressing room, she said that when she lost her legs, feet and fingers, she also lost her hair.  She said that out of all the things she has been through, the hardest thing for her was losing her hair!  WOW!  That really validated the struggle that I have been going through with losing my hair.  This is the wonderful part about sharing our trials with each other, it strengthens us and gives us courage to go on.  Even if I never get to talk to her in person again, I will be changed from having me her.  Here are pictures of her and part of the article.

BYU students develop clamp-style prosthetic hand for a woman

Johnny Depp may have received critical acclaim for his stellar performance as a recluse who had scissors for hands in the fantastical movie, but for Jeanne Taylor, having a clamp for a hand is nothing short of a blessing. Taylor lost her lower legs and fingers due to complications caused by septicemia, a life-threatening blood infection, in 2009. 

But the housewife and mother of two has received a state-of-the-art prosthetic hand developed by the Capstone program at the Brigham Young University, Utah. The St. George, Utah resident and BYU alumni wanted a prosthetic that would allow her to be able to do household chores and things like turning the pages of books and holding cups and forks.

The custom prosthetic hand was created by a five-student team from the mechanical engineering department of the university.

The team was supervised by Mark Colton, assistant professor of mechanical engineering at BYU, and included students Matt Meads, Jon Pendlebury, Kyle Smith, Vance Murray and Jamal Honwas.

The team’s goal was to come up with a viable substitute for prosthetics available in the market and create something that would put function over form.

Using a clamp activated by wrist motion to give function and finger mobility, the prosthetic device attaches to the forearm to give Taylor the ability to open the clamp to hold onto both large and small objects while a backward motion allows her to close the clamp for a steady grip.

The aluminum device is anodized and hence corrosion-resistant which allows Taylor to wash dishes and bathe her sons and was custom painted pink on her request. Taylor’s boys call the gadget "mommy’s robot hand." The team made further adjustments to the device when they presented it for their finals and plan on securing a provisional patent for the design so that it can be licensed for production by a company later on.

This article was published on April 19, 2010.  Here is the actual website that has all of this information:

http://www.designbuzz.com/entry/byu-students-develop-clamp-style-prosthetic-hand-woman/

Whose that in the mirror?

My sweet husband cut out this cartoon and said it reminded him of me.   I totally agreed!

I can't see anything without my glasses, and when I do, I don't like what I see!  So this is spot on for me in my condition right now.  Yesterday I finally went to my ward without my wig!  I've been everywhere else, so I thought it was time for me to quit hiding behind my wig once and for all.  Everyone was so complimentary and I really appreciate that.  I love the way I feel without my wig, but I don't like how I look in the mirror.  It is a total shock every time I look in the mirror.  It's so hard to get used to super short greyish, whitish, blackish hair compared to longer dark hair.  But I am moving on and letting that hair style be in my past!