"Stories on the Sabbath" - Preparing for Conference

Since General Conference is one week from today, here are some things to help us be better prepared.

"In preparation for General Conference, let me suggest four basic concepts that may help us to better receive, remember, and apply the words spoken by the Lord's servants."                                      -- President Uchtdorf - September 2011

1.  Members of the Church are ENTITLED to personal revelation as they listen to and study the inspired words spoken at general conference.

   
     a.  Listen
     b.  Study
     c.  Ponder questions you need to have answered

2.  Answers to your specific prayers and questions may come in many different ways:
    
     a.  Directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase.
     b.  At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song.
     c.  A heart filled with gratitude for the blessings of life
     d.  An earnest desire to hear and follow the words of counsel will prepare the way for personal
          revelation.

3.  Don't discount a message merely because it sounds familiar.

     a.  Prophets have always taught by repetition; it is a law of learning.
     b.  Let me reassure you:  this is not due to a lack of creativity or imagination.
     c.  The Lord is teaching and impressing upon our minds and hearts certain foundational
          principles of great eternal importance that must be understood and acted upon before
          we can move on to other things.

4.  The words spoken at general conference should be a compass that points the way for us 
     during the coming months.

     a.  If we listen to and follow the promptings of the Spirit, they will serve as a Liahona,
          guiding us through the unknown, challenging valleys and mountains that lie ahead.

My husband and I look forward to a wonderful weekend of "Feasting Upon the Words of Christ!"  Hope you do too!

Distraction or Addiction?

           This last week has been frustrating for me! I've had so many worthy goals, but I haven't been able to accomplish any of them.  For instance, when our stake president had challenged us to give an acceptable offering to the Lord, the spirit prompted me that for the next three weeks I should not work on anything else but my life history.  I have been working off and on this project for the past 9 months, but so many things keep getting in my way (this blog included). 

              Monday I sat down to start writing and I would just be at a good part where my thoughts were flowing and I would hear a "ping".  I glanced over at the nearby desk and saw my Ipad sitting there, but I kept typing.  A few minute went by and I heard another "ping".  This time it was if I could feel my heart flutter with excitement!  "Oh how exciting, I have two new emails."  Then I tried to force myself back to my life history.  "Come on Michele, you are almost done with this section, just wait a minute and you can reward yourself with your email when you are done." 

              Committed once again I turned back to the computer and then there it was, another "ping".  I just couldn't resist.  I turned my chair away from the keyboard and longingly reached for my Ipad.  "I will just take a quick glance to see what the emails are and be right back," I told myself.  A few minutes later the phone rang, I jumped as if being caught doing some bad.  I looked up at the clock as I answered the phone...15 minutes had just gone by.  It was my daughter and she wanted to talk.  I stood up from my computer because I can't write and talk at the same time, and went to find some busy work to keep my hands busy while I talked on the phone. 
              That was the end of me ever getting back to my life history for the day.  Between the phone and the "pings" on the Ipad, I could not discipline myself to say no.  That afternoon when it was time to go visiting teaching I was in a very irritated mood.  I was so disappointed in myself for not being more disciplined.  Right as I was about to go out the door, my Ipad "pinged" again.  I wanted to throw it out the window, but I couldn't, it was as if it had special powers over me.  I quickly looked at the clock....I had a minute before it was time to leave, so you guessed it, I sat down to take just a quick glance.  It was an email that my husband had just sent me.  The first sentence was like looking in a mirror.  I was furious as I read it, but then I realized how true it was and that I was addicted.  Here are some highlights:

"Do you ever feel like you are addicted to email or twitter or texting? Do you find it impossible to ignore your email if you see that there are messages in your inbox? Have you ever gone to Google to look up some information and 30 minutes later you realize that you’ve been reading and linking, and searching around for a long time, and you are now searching for something totally different than before? These are all examples of your dopamine system at work."

I couldn't believe what I was reading.  It was as if this person had just been watching me all morning.  I continued reading...

It’s all about seeking — Instead of dopamine causing us to experience pleasure, the latest research shows that dopamine causes seeking behavior. Dopamine causes us to want, desire, seek out, and search. It increases our general level of arousal and our goal-directed behavior. Dopamine makes us curious about ideas and fuels our searching for information. The latest research shows that it is the opoid system (separate from dopamine) that makes us feel pleasure. 

A dopamine induced loop – With the internet, twitter, and texting we now have almost instant gratification of our desire to seek. Want to talk to someone right away? Send a text and they respond in a few seconds. Want to look up some information? Just type it into google. Want to see what your friends are up to? Go to twitter or facebook. We get into a dopamine induced loop… dopamine starts us seeking, then we get rewarded for the seeking which makes us seek more. It becomes harder and harder to stop looking at email, stop texting, stop checking our cell phones to see if we have a message or a new text.

Anticipation is better than getting — Brain scan research shows that our brains show more stimulation and activity when we ANTICIPATE a reward than when we get one. Research on rats shows that if you destroy dopamine neurons, rats can walk, chew, and swallow, but will starve to death even when food is right next to them. They have lost the desire to go get the food.

More, more, more – Although wanting and liking are related, research also shows that the dopamine system doesn’t have satiety built in. It is possible for the dopamine system to keep saying “more more more”, seeking even when we have found the information. During that google exploration we know that we have the answer to the question we originally asked, and yet we find ourselves looking for more information and more and more.

Unpredictable is the key — Dopamine is also stimulated by unpredictability. When something happens that is not exactly predictable, that stimulates the dopamine system. Think about these electronic gadgets and devices. Our emails and twitters and texts show up, but we don’t know exactly when they will or who they will be from. It’s unpredictable. This is exactly what stimulates the dopamine system. It’s the same system at work for gambling and slot machines.

When you hear the “Ping” that you have an email – The dopamine system is especially sensitive to “cues” that a reward is coming. If there is a small, specific cue that signifies that something is going to happen, that sets off our dopamine system. So when there is a sound when a text message or email arrives, or a visual cue, that enhances the addictive effect (remember Pavlov).

140 characters is even more addictive – And the dopamine system is most powerfully stimulated when the information coming in is small so that it doesn’t full satisfy. A short text or twitter (can only be 140 characters!) is ideally suited to send our dopamine system raging.

Not without costs — This constant stimulation of the dopamine system can be exhausting. We are getting caught in an endless dopamine loop.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!! What a shocking insight.  I have been caught in an endless dopamine loop.  No wonder I never feel satisfied after reading my emails, or looking on facebook...I always want more.  So many times after searching the internet, I feel like a junkfood junky who has eaten too much. Now that I've identified this problem, what am I going to do about?  The first thing I did was to go into the settings of my Ipad and turn off all sounds.  I have done that for over a week now and I am feeling a new "peace".  If any of you are experiencing any of the above behaviors like I did, I challenge you to turn off your sound and try and tune in on some new found peace and quiet living.  I can still check my emails, WHEN the time is appropriate and suprisingly enough, I have actually been able to start accomplishing a lot more things.


Here is a link to the full above full article  http://www.theteamw.com/2009/11/07/100-things-you-should-know-about-people-8-dopamine-makes-us-addicted-to-seeking-information/ 

"Stories on the Sabbath" - Temple Rocks

Today is the Dedication of the Brigham City Temple.  Temples have always been an integral part of God's plan for us.  In Genesis 28:10-19 is the story of “Jacob’s ladder” that reached up to heaven.  Jacob named the place "Bethel", which means “House of God”.  Today that name refers to the latter day "Temples or The House of God. "

Elder Marion G. Romney stated, “Temples are to us all what Bethel was to Jacob” (Ensign, May, 1971, 16).  In preparation for a return to Bethel, Jacob asked his family to make specific preparations. “Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:” (Genesis 35:2).  They were to be temporally and spiritually prepared to go to that sacred place just as we have responsibilities to properly prepare for our own temple attendance.

There are 138 operating temples, 15 under construction and 13 announced.  For a map of each of these temples click here.  The following is a true story that happened to a young women when the Las Vegas Nevada Temple was under construction.

                                                                  "TEMPLE ROCKS"

        When Emily was 12 years old, the Las Vegas Temple was in the process of being built and so her Young Women's class decided to go visit the temple site.  The week before they went, they had a lesson on the importance of keeping themselves clean and pure in order to be married in the Lord's temple.  Their teacher had challenged each of them to take time to pray and set their own private goals.
        When they arrived at the temple site, the teacher told them to look around until they found just the right  rock.  Once they found their rock, they took it with them and painted it white.  Then in gold ink they wrote on their special rock, their private goals that they had prayed about.  Emily wrote on her rock: "I want to marry a return mission in the temple some day."

        The teacher made a white satin bag and put all the rocks together in one bag.  The teacher knew one of the architects of the temple and gave him the satin bag with instructions to put it in one of the walls.  A few years later after the temple was finished, the architect called her and told her that he had placed the bag of rocks in a wall in the "Celestial Room."  They had been placed there while the temple was being built.  The teacher then called her girls and told them where they had been placed.
         When Emily was 19, she met and fell in a love with a young man who was 21.  He  had not been on a mission, but just before they met he had decided that he wanted to serve a mission.  However, the more they dated and began falling in love, the decision to go on a mission became very hard.  Emily knew that if she asked him not to go, that he wouldn't go.  Part of her wanted to do that.  She knew she had the power within her to persuade him either way.
         One night when she was saying her prayers, she remembered the little white rocks in the temple.  She remembered that she had written that she wanted to "marry a return missionary in the temple" and felt that this was an answer to her prayers.  Emily encouraged him in every way to serve a mission and they prepared together.  He went on a mission and served faithfully.  When he came home, they were still in love and  were married in the Las Vegas Temple, just as she had written on the little white rocks, nine years earlier. 
         Emily  never ever regretted that decision.  Not very long after they were married, Emily was called to be Young Women's president in her ward.  She could now personally testify to her girls the importance of each of them setting goals, and tell them about her experience with the "temple rocks" which helped her be able to make and keep sacred covenants in the Lord's temple.
                                       
                                                  --Told to Michele Garvin By Linda Covey - Emily's mother

One year ago today...

A year ago today, our lives changed forever.  It was the day that I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer.  I went back to my journal to read my feelings, but I could not find a journal entry.  I was shocked that I didn’t write about such a life changing event.  I had written the week before telling all about Craig’s cancer, but mine had happened so fast, that I forgot to write about it.  In the Book of Mormon when the Savior came, he asked Nephi if Samuel the Lamanite had been there, (3 Nephi 23:6-13) and if so where was the account telling about it?  Sadly Nephi realized that it had not been written.  Jesus then commanded that it be written.  So here’s my quick recap of how I found out that I had Ovarian Cancer, so it will be included in my written record.

It had been three weeks since Craig had been diagnosed with Prostate cancer.  I began noticing that I was having pain in my stomach and it felt like I never quite emptied my bladder.  On Friday, September 16, my stomach and lower abdomen started really hurting.  I was at the computer all afternoon and the pains got worse and worse.  I have a very high threshold of pain and finally around 2:00 that day I realized that I was really in pain.   I called my doctor, Amy Hawkes and told her I was in a lot of pain and was either trying to go through menopause or something was wrong.  I describe the pain to them as feeling like that of being in labor.  This same thing had happened to me 30 years earlier and when I went to get checked, I was dilated to a 7 and gave birth to Amy just a few hours later.

They got me in that afternoon but couldn’t find anything wrong.  Just to make sure they had me take a urine sample and it came back positive as having a Urinary Tract Infection.  They gave me antibiotics and a medicine that turned my urine orange – but totally helped with pain.  The doctor told me that if I was still in pain on Monday to call her back.  I took the medicine and was fine over the weekend.  However the bottle said to only take the pain meds for 2 days and so I stopped on Monday. 

I went out to breakfast on Monday with a friend and started to feel the pain come back.  By Monday afternoon I was in total pain again.  I called the doctor and they said that they wanted me to go to the American Fork Office for a CT Scan.  Now looking back I realize what a blessing it was for me to even call the doctor, because I usually don’t go very often.  The other miracle was that when she suggested a CT Scan, I never asked how much it cost, (which is NOT like me at all).  Had I known that it would cost over $3,000, I’m sure I would not have gone.

I got to the lab just a few minutes before it closed.  I was amazed at how quickly they got me in and out.  They said that they would call me that night with the results.  I wasn’t that worried, because for some reason I thought the doctor was checking for kidney stones.  I really wasn’t worried about cancer, because I had just had a papsmere and mammogram in February and everything looked fine.  Little did I know then that ovarian cancer is the most difficult to detect. That is why they call it the “silent killer.”

I went home that night and waited for the call.  It was several hours and I hadn’t heard anything, so I called the answering service and my doctor was the one on call.  She said that she hadn’t heard anything, and then as we were talking she said, “Oh, I see that I have a note in my box.  Let me review it and I will call you right back.”  I don’t remember how long it was until she returned the call, but I will never forget her words.  “Michele, this is Amy Hawkes, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you have Ovarian Cancer!” 

Those four words changed my life forever!   Cancer…before now it had just been a word, something that OTHER people got, not me.  Now all of a sudden I had a front row seat in a very undesirable class called CANCER!   Little did I know that the learning curve would be so steep and painful!

So here I sit a year later and very grateful for so many things in my life.  The most important is my knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me and that my Savior knows my pain and has suffered for what I have gone through.   I'm extra grateful for the days, weeks and months that I have been given to be with my precious earthly family.  I'm thankful for competent doctors who have managed my health care.  And I'm grateful for the kind deeds and wonderful prayers of the hundreds of ward members, friends and family in my behalf.

Our life will never be the same, but we have come to grips with that.  We have a found a "new" kind of "normal".  We have had to accept a lot of physical as well as emotional changes that have occured in our lives.  I've given up the idea of ever having long, dark hair again and have tried to enjoy my "new look".  Thanks to everyone who have helped make this bumpy journey more endurable.  We thank you for your love, we indeed will never be the same and for that we are grateful!    

"Stories on the Sabbath" - Journey to the Temple

             A few weeks ago our stake presidency came and challenged each of us to prepare an acceptable offering (D&C128:24) to the Lord at the upcoming temple dedication of the Brigham Temple.  I really felt the spirit when he issued this challenge and it has made me feel a greater excitement for this temple to be dedicated.  As I have been working on preparing my acceptable offering, I have felt the hand of the Lord leading me to accomplish this offering.  I testify that God lives and that he loves each one of us and as we prepare our lives to be worthy to enter into one of his holy temples, we will feel his spirit in greater abundance.

            Years ago when I lived in Las Vegas, Nevada, I served as second counselor in the Young Women's Presidency.  I remember an activity we had where we were given a "dice" that had directions on it, instead of dots.  At each intersection we were to roll the dice and it would tell us what direction to go.   The goal of the activity was to try to get to the temple.  We all loaded up in vans and headed off with the roll-of-the-dice. 

            Our first roll said, "Turn left", and so we did.  The next roll said,"Turn left" again, and so once again we turned left.  I'm sure we looked quite funny to the on-looker as our van kept going in circles in the church parking lot.  Finally we made it some how to the street.  At the first inner section we made a wise roll which pointed us in the direction of the temple.  The next roll said, "Go straight."  That was good until we rolled a "u-turn".  Now we were heading completely AWAY from our goal.  Our journey took us into an apartment complex, a 7-11 parking lot and the Las Vegas Airport.  Needless to say, we weren't making the progress we needed to.  One particular time we were in the left lane with cars all around us, when we rolled a "turn right".  There was no way that we could do that because of our previous decision.  The good thing about that was that the left turn took us towards our goal, instead of away from it.  At a certain pre-appointed time, we all were to stop where we were in our cars and take the straightest route to the temple.  

          It was really interesting as we reached Bonanza Road - which is a straight east shot to the temple.  As we were on a hill looking down into the valley, we could see the bright lights outlining Bonanza.  Then way far off in the distance you could see the faint, subdued lights of the Las Vegas Temple.  The perspective we had at that moment made it very clear to us the route we needed to take.   Seeing that our goal was insight, we began to relax a bit and have a little fun.  At one of the stop lights, we jumped out and did a "Chinese Fire drill".  I'm sure we looked crazy to all watching, but we had a blast.  At the next light a van full of boys pulled up along side of us.  They had just witnessed our little fire drill.  We rolled down our windows and one of the girls asked them if the were LDS?  They didn't respond at first and then another girl yelled CTR!  The driver opened his window at the same time as one of the guys stuck his head out of his back window.  On his hat were the initials BYU.  They said they were LDS and when we told them that we were too, the driver shook his head and say, "we know we could tell!" 

            As we kept driving and went down into a little valley, one of the girls said that she couldn't see the temple anymore.  She made the comment that it was a good thing we knew that this road led to the temple otherwise she would have turned to find another path that might seem easier.  We kept driving and finally reached the temple.  It was wonderful to meet the other young women of the ward and hear the experiences that lead them closer or farther away from the temple.  Our Mia Maid president spoke to us and gave a beautiful talk.  She challenged us all to realize that even though this was a game tonight that we all played, it was a true parable of what happens in our lives.  Every road that we take, every choice that we make in this life will either take us away or bring us closer to our goal of being married in the temple.  How are we all doing?

            While at the temple, we asked the girls to come up with PARABLES they could see that happened along their journey to the temple.   Here are some that they came up with.

                              PARABLES ON OUR ROAD TO THE TEMPLE

1.  Roll-of-the Dice:

             Each road (choice) we choose will take us closer or farther away from our

                 goal of getting to the temple.

2 . Told to turn Right, but was already in the left lane and could not turn:

            Because of a prior commitment to live the gospel, and be in the right place at the right time, many of the temptations that come our way, are not even an option.  We literally are SAVED from bad choices by our previous right choices.

3. Bonanza Street:

            This street represented the straight and narrow path to the temple.  The one sure way to make it to the temple - (follow the prophet, keep the commandments)

4.  Bright lights of Bonanza Street compared to subdued lights of Temple:

             

            Many times the ways of the world seem flashier and call out louder to us. The Temple does not need to try and compete with the world.  It stands on its own and there is no place like it in the world where you can find PEACE.

5.  Hill and Valley:

            When we are living right, its like we are on a HILL.  We were able to look out and see what is ahead of us.  This is called Eternal Perspective.  We have a goal that

we want to attain and we begin working for it.

            There will be times when we reach a VALLEY or a low spot in our lives and the goal we set seems so hard to reach - at times we can't even see or remember what our goal looks like.  It would be dangerous in life if not for our eternal perspective the time we were on the hill.

           

6.  Chinese Fire Drill:

            It's okay to have fun along the way, just as long as we keep our eye on our goal.

7.  Van Full of LDS Boys:

            You will find a worthy mate on the way to the temple.  

Randomness

Every 6 weeks they take my CA-125 Blood count - which is basically a tumor marker and indicates if the cancer is returning.  Normal is 0-35 and when I was diagnosed last year my count was 686.  Six weeks ago it was at 22 and this time it had dropped to 13.5!  Yipee!  How exciting is that?!

I know the Lord is totally blessing me - because of all of your prayers...and especially my little grandchildren's prayers.  It is so precious to hear them pray for me at EVERY prayer.  "Please bless Grandma that the cancer won't ever come back!"  If I think about it too much, I could cry.  Can I really ask for that?  That basically would be asking for a miracle, and for some reason I don't think I deserve one or maybe I'm afraid to ask because if I don't get one, what would that do to my faith?  Here's how my conversation with my husband went one day:

Me:  I dont' think I deserve a miracle.
Craig:  Why not?
Me:  Because the Lord usually only gives miracles when there is a purpose surrounding it.
Craig:  So you don't think there is a purpose in you receiving a miracle?
Me:  Well, I'm just saying that why should I get a miracle when my cousin had the same type of cancer and she died from it.  Why should I be able to live when she didn't?
Craig:  Where's your faith Michele?!?!?!!?
Me: I don't want to be a pesimist, but I also want to be a realist!  I have Ovarian Cancer Stage IV and it is the type that keeps coming back!  There I said it! 
Craig: (inserting a little tough love here) Well, I guess you'll never get a miracle if you don't ever ask!

The next day my daughter called and told me to check the blog of her friend who has been battling Melanoma Cancer - Stage IV.  They have tried everything and have almost run out of options. The last couple things they did were very drastic, just to buy her more time with her husband and three sons.  She is such an inspiration to so many!  As I clicked here to read her blog, tears started rolling down my checks.  My husband stood over my shoulder and read with me the miracle that had just happened to her.  As we walked into the kitchen to start dinner he very quietly said, "did she deserve a miracle?"  I turned to him with tears in my eyes and said, "okay, okay....I will start praying for a miracle!!!!"

What would I do without my sweet husband to keep me grounded?  I want to brag on him for a minute.  Since he was layed off, we realized that he may end up needing to work from home while he looked for a job.  So we decded to set up an office for him downstairs.

 We needed a nice desk, but couldn't find anything decent that wasn't too expensive.  Since he's had some extra time on his hands, he decided to make his own desk.  Here is the finished project.  I think he did an excellent job!

"Stories on the Sabbath"

                                                              "The Ripple Effect"

       Have you ever thrown a pebble into a pond and watched what happens?  The movement caused by that one little pebble creates a tiny ripple, which then creates more ripples.  Soon the whole pond is transformed into a medley of tiny waves.  The once quiet, glass-like water now dances with motion. If a single pebble can make such a difference to a pond, how much difference can one person make in another person's life?  It's the small and smiple things--the tinypebbles of service--that cause the greatest ripples for good.

      It was the hottest month of the year, and there I sat in a tiny camp trailer with sweat dripping down my back.  The compressor could only be used for a couple of hours a day, and I had already used my quota.  I was miserable.  I lived in the trailer because it was part of my job.  As the large trucks came in and were loaded with dirt, I had to weigh them before they left.  It was a job and a place to live.  Nothing more. 

       The gun lay in my hand and I began fingering it.  I had gone through so much pain, sorrow, and continual downfall that I thought there was no hope for me.  I tried to come up with options but felt like I had none.  It had been a long three years since I had left my family, my friends, and the Church.  Suicide seemed my only way out.  Yes, I would go through with it this time.  Several times before I had planned to commit suicide, but had changed my mind at the last moment. This time, I thought I had nowhere else to turn.
      
          Looking out of the tiny window into the dark night, I could see the skyline of Las Vegas.  Sparkling lights looked like tiny stars in the distance. I reflected back to when I was a child and remembered how I loved looking at the stars.  Many times, as I looked heavenward, I felt peace because I knew Heavenly Father was there looking down on me.  My parents had taught me that I had a Father in Heaven who loved and cared about me.  Back then I was sure of a lot of things.  Now I didn't know what I believed.

          Absently-mindedly, I played an unlabeled tape from my tape collection.  As the music began, the words of the song jumped out at me:  "Will he answer me?  Does he really hear my prayers?"  I burst into tears, feeling the pain of my previous sins.  Immediately I took the tape out and tried chasing those feelings away by playing some of the hardest rock tapes I had.

           Later that night I still couldn't shake the painful feeling, so I went into my trailer and dropped to my knees.  I spent the entire evening in prayer.  I fervently asked, "Are you really there, or am I just talking to the ceiling?"  I wondered if God could really hear me and answer my prayers.  Somehow the thought brought comfort and peace.  I hadn't felt that in a long time.

       The next morning I decided I would go to church the following weekend. The closer Sunday got, the more nervous I became. The thought made me weak in the knees, but I got dressed and went anyway.  I knew where the chapel was and cautiously went inside, sitting as far back as I could.  No one seemed to notice me (or so I thought), and I sat there thinking this was a stupid idea.  Why had I even come?  There was nothing here for me.  I got up and started to walk out, intent on going home to end my life. 
     
        As I was leaving, a young man about my age introduced himself to me as Steve.  He said he was living with his aunt and uncle and working to earn money to go on a mission.  He was very friendly, but I did not feel at ease.  Steve excused himself for a moment and asked me to wait there.  Down the hall, I could see him talking to a dark-haired lady, and then he came back.  He asked if I would like to come over to their house that afternoon for dinner, and we could spend some time getting to know each other better.  I accepted and then quickly left.

      
 Back in my trailer, I saw the gun on the bed.  I decided to wait.  Perhaps this person and his invitation was by some small chance an answer to my prayer.  I put the gun away and waited.  Steve came to pick me up when he said he would, and together we went to his house.  His aunt and uncle were very friendly, and I felt welcome at once.  They had five children, and since I love kids, we had a good time.  I stayed the entire evening.
      
       I can't explain what it felt like to be loved again.  For three years I had turned my back on everything I had loved.  Everything in my life had gone wrong. But now, suddenly, I felt new life.  My Heavenly Father had answered my prayer in the form of a young man preparing to go on a mission, his aunt and uncle, and their family.  I was still loved.

            Steve and I became best friends.  I helped him study for his mission, and we spent many hours talking about the gospel.  We attended church regularly together, double-dated,  and had fun and crazy times together too.  I started reading the Book of Mormon and I met with the bishop.  One day he asked me if I wanted to go on a mission.  I was surprised that I could still go, and the thought of serving the Lord brought even more hope to me. 

          Soon it was time for Steve to move back home.  The Lord had placed him in my life just long enough to help me get back on my feet again in the Church.  Would he ever know how his Christlike love and service had touched me?  Could I ever thank him enough?

         After Steve left, I continued going over to his aunt and uncle's house for visits. I used their telephone to contact my parents and share with them the changes that had occurred in my life.  Since I didn't have a mailbox, they also let me receive my mail at their house.  A couple of months later there was a knock on my trailer door, and I opened it to see Steve's aunt and uncle with big smiles on their faces.  They  handed me a long, white envelope. The words in the upper left corner read, "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." 

         Two years later I stood at the pulpit, a completely changed man, and talked about my mission. For the past twenty four months, I had spent my life in the service of my Father in Heaven.  Many lives had been touched while I served as a missionary in the England, Bristol Mission, including my own.  We taught the discussions to a woman named Trixie, and she joined the Church.  Trixie's friend, Colin, and also her daughters, Louise and Laura, were then baptized.  There were many other contacts who changed their lives and accepted the gospel. As I looked back on my mission, I thought about the little pebble and the ripple effect.  The Christlike love and service that Steve showed me had created a ripple in my life.  I was amazed at the difference that one person could make.

         Several years have gone by since that day.  It's Friday night and I have a date.  She is beautiful and sits rather close to me.  It is dark and romantic as we walk arm in arm up the flower-clad pathway leading to the Salt Lake Temple.  Before we approach the door, we embrace.  As I hold her in my arms, I say a silent prayer, thanking my Heavenly Father for this precious, eternal bride of mine.

                                                                       --John
                                                     "By Small & Simple Things"

Life’s Bumpy Roads

On Saturday Craig and I set off for an adventure.  We took the Squaw Peak road that takes you across this windy, bumpy road and ends in Hobble Creek.  We had heard about it and even looked on-line to make sure that it went through.  Craig looked at the full map, but I didn’t until we came home.  It’s a good thing, because had I seen how long, windy and bumpy it was going to be, I probably would not have gone.  The crazy thing is that I was the one that suggested it.  Why?  Because this was Craig’s love language (quality time/nature) and my love language is acts of service and he had just helped me babysit our grandkids over night.  So I wanted to show him back how much I appreciated his sacrifice for me.  If you don’t know what your love language is, go here to find out.

We began driving on this road and it wasn’t too bad at first.  Then it started getting a little bumpy, but it was not a problem.  The view was beautiful and the leaves were starting to change already and it was almost breath taking to see all the vibrant colors.  Then we started climbing up the mountain and there were no guard rails.  I reached over and locked the door.  Then the road started getting muddy and at one point on my side, it looked like the road had deteriorated and that we would fall off the cliff.  I closed my eyes, held my breath and screamed inside.  When I opened my eyes and realized that we had made it, I decided that it was time to pray.  I know this all sounds stupid, but I was scared.  I prayed that we would be safe and make it out of there okay.  Then after my prayer, the road started getting horribly bumpier.  Our trucked barely crept over the rocks and it heaved up and down from rock to rock. 

The sign came that read, Hobble Creek – 15 miles.  "Oh I can make it that far," I thought.  After a half an hour of this same kind of jolting I asked Craig how far we had gone and he told me only 5 miles.  I wanted to die!  I silently prayed, “Oh please let this bumpiness end!”  I thought that if it would get even a little bit better that, I could make it the rest of the way.  My neck and shoulders were in pain from being so tense.  Craig told me to relax, but I couldn’t!  We continued on like this for quite a while - (the drive took 2 hours) when all of a sudden I realized that the road was no longer bumpy and we were actually cruising at a pretty good pace.

I thought to myself, “When did the road change?”  I hadn’t even noticed.  “How long had we been driving on a smoother surface?”  I hadn’t even noticed.  All I knew was that it was over, my prayers had been answered and I had moved on that fast.  Not even skipping a beat to look back and thank the Lord. How sad!  Not sad that it was over, but sad that I had not REMEMBERED how terrible it was just a little bit earlier and how it was now so much more comfortable.

As I realized what had just happened, I thought how this little bumpy road was like a parable of my life.  When I was up in Heaven I had heard all about earth, maybe even had a chance to look through heavenly binoculars and take a peek at earth.  I know I was so excited to come to earth - because I have always loved a new challenge, and challenge is what it would be!  I probably was given an overview of my life that showed the windy, bumpy roads that I would go through, but just like here, I didn’t really pay attention to it.  I was probably told that I would have cancer and would suffer from the side effects for the rest of my life and I probably eagerly agreed to come, just to get to experience earth life and gain a body.  Now looking back at what I’ve gone through, I wonder had I really understood what cancer was all about, would I have tried to opt out not to come and maybe taken an on-line course for an earthlike experience.  You know, learning the same things, but not actually having to physically experience them.  haha  But of course that wasn't possible.  Maybe it is a good thing that we don’t know what is ahead of us!

But here I am on earth and when I came to the road sign that said, "Cancer-Rough Road", I thought, "I can probably handle that."  The earlier road in my life had had some minor twist and turns and bumps, but NOTHING prepared me for this. I thought I was going to die! I remember going through my sickest times after my surgery and during my chemo-therapy.  I had so many bowel problems that I remember crying out, “Will I ever be happy again?”  I wondered when this horribly bumpy road of cancer would slow down.  I even begged Heavenly Father, “Oh please let this bumpiness end!”

Now eleven months later, I look up and ask “When did my road change?”  I hadn’t completely noticed because it has been a gradual change.  “How long have I been driving on a smoother surface?”  I hadn’t totally noticed.  All I knew was that it was over, my prayers had been answered and I had moved on that fast.  Not even skipping a beat to look back and pause and thank the Lord like I should have.

While I was sick I thought that I would NEVER forget what I had gone through and I would be grateful the moment it was over.  And yet, as the Lord has blessed me to gradually get well, I have failed to notice that the road was no longer as bumpy as it used to be.  My heart sorrowed, that I so quickly had forgotten the bumpy journey I had just been on.  No wonder the most important word in the scriptures is REMEMBER!

This parable has helped me stop and look at the beautiful changing colors in my life right NOW.  To count my blessings that my road is smooth right now and that the Lord has heard my prayers.  To learn to enjoy having a new short hairdo and be happy I have any hair at all. For me I haven’t reached my destination yet, and so I must enjoy the journey, every twist and turn of it!  I need to cherish the smooth road of health I am on now and prepare for the bumpy times that will come; (stage IV cancer doesn't go away) and always remember to express gratitude that I am alive and able to still be on this earthly journey, no matter the condition of my road!

"Stories on the Sabbath"

                                             "The Value of the Articles of Faith"

When I was 12 years old I went to visit my favorite cousin Marleen up in Reno, Nevada.   I rode with my Aunt Michele to Las Vegas and then she put me on a Greyhound bus to ride the rest of the way up to Reno.  On the bus I sat next to an older person (grandma or grandpa) to this day I think it was a grandma.  I started reading the Book of Mormon.  She asked what book I was reading and I told her.  I told her it was a religious book like the Bible and that I was a Mormon.  She asked me what do the Mormons believe in. 

Well…I proceeded to recite to her the 13 articles of faith.  I had them memorized because I had just completed my Faith In God Program in order to Graduate from Primary.  It was so easy to recite them to her and they answered all of her questions.  I was so grateful I had memorized them.

Fast Forward 20 years….I’m sitting in Tucson, AZ at a World Wide Training Broadcast. At the end of the Broadcast, President Monson shares a letter he had recently received about someone’s conversion due to a young girl reciting to them the articles of faith. 

Pres. Monson said the person writing the letter said a young girl rode with her on a bus as she was on her way to visit her Aunt in Reno, Nevada.  This person now knows that the girl was reciting to her the articles of faith.  The older woman was so impressed at the conviction that this young girl had about her faith at such a young age and proceeded to look up the church after their bus ride.  A few years later she was baptized along with many members of her family.  Little did this young girl realize that she was sharing her testimony as she shared her beliefs and convictions, nor did she realize the eternal difference this meeting had on the life of the woman and her children and many other family members. 

True story written by my niece Sharee Jackson Williams